My New Moon
by Queenqueen
Summary: Edward rushed back to Forks but nothing could prepare him to face what was waiting for him there and who was going to change his Bella into his kind. This is my first fanfiction, hope you like it.
1. Deathbed

EPOV

How did it happen? She promised. She promised she would take good care of herself. It was fortunate that Alice didn't listen to me and tap on Bella's future or otherwise….When did she learn to drive a motorcycle? She couldn't even walk straight on flat surface. Horrible thoughts went through my head as I raced back to my only place on earth that held my sanity. I left Bella alone so that she could have a happy and normal human life. It was this hope that got me through all the nightmares and heartburns in the last few months. What if she was not able to sustain a fruitful and happy life despite my absence? If she no longer existed in this world, what was I to be? There would be nothing to me in such non-purposeful existence? Maybe I should go to Italy so that my death wish could be granted.

I finally arrived at Forks – a place of my love and life. I can't wait to walk on human speed. I jumped from tree to tree and arrived at the entrance of the all too familiar hospital. Bella had been in it at least twice in the past year. I walked to the side entrance and jumped onto the second floor corridor of the hospital direct. The smell of blood and wounds was extremely potent but I was not even aware of my thirst. My eyes were locked on the immobile body lying on the bed inside the room of the Intensive Care Unit.

I silently slipped into the room. Her all too breakable body was tapped with many tubes and needles. She would have a fear arrest when she woke up. Bella's mom was sleeping on the coach, with lines of worries still itched on her face. I could hear the heartbeat of Bella. Although it was so light and fragile, it was the one single most wonderful sound in my world. I slowed my pace and went to have a closer look at my beautiful Bella. It'd been so long… how she could become so skinny in just a short time. She looked so sad and tired, as if she lost something vital to her existence. Was I wrong to leave her? Something so hurtful to us both couldn't be right. No, she was just human, her feelings would pass and she would recover and become life-embracing once again. Didn't Rosalie tell me that Bella was now getting along with Jacob and with time, she would be happy and complete soon. I should not be here to upset the progress made. I should leave before Bella woke up but she looked so fragile that there was every opportunity that I would lose her infinitely in any second. I persuaded myself to stay as it might be my one last time to look at her, to engrave her lovely features to my memory that would in doubt accompany me for the rest of my existence. It was comforting to know that such existence would not be long – less than one hundred years and only until Bella left this world on natural course.

"It's you, Edward!" Bella's mom exclaimed behind me. I was so absorbed in my watching Bella that I was not aware that she woke up. I stood up and turned my head. She was sitting on the coach, with fists clenched into tight balls. "Why are you here? Didn't you cause enough damage here? Why did you leave? Look at what you have done to Bella?"

"For her own good, I don't love her enough." I replied coldly to match the story previously told.

However, she must have seen something on my face that made her hesitate. She came in front of me and said softly "I don't know what happened between the two of you but Bella needs you here right now. Doc said that she was not hanging in as she should be. You will stay until she is good enough to ask you to leave." We both turned our heads when there was a low groan from the bed.


	2. Purgatory

_We both turned our heads when there was a low groan from the bed._

BPOV

It hurt everywhere. I could not even breathe without hurting. I slowly opened my eyes in case such action would hurt too. My mom's worried face towered over me, mumbling about something that I could not catch. "What happened?" I cracked. My voice came out coarse and slurred. It was so exhausting to utter these two words that I had to take a few shallow breaths to regain my strength. "Your motorcycle crashed head on to a tree and you fell off. You hit your head pretty hard and broke a few ribs. You have been in a coma for three days now. How do yo u feel?" "Fine, just weak" I lied. I looked around with my eyes; my head was hurting so much that I dare not move. Who was standing behind my mom? Was it my dad? No, this guy was much taller and younger. I tried to focus but it took a while for the vision to become clear enough for me to recognize the face – a pale, beautiful and somewhat worried face. "Edward?" His family had been moved out of Forks a few months ago. What was he doing here?

"Hi, Bella." Had I imagined the pain therein? We didn't even talk in school. We were not even causal acquaintance although there were times when I dreamt about him of being more than that. It's so strange that I could feel his pain like my own at this moment.

"You are back."

"Yes" He looked away.

"Dr. Cullen moved back to Forks?" That was the only reason that my muddled mind could come up with.

"….We don't know for sure yet." Several emotions went through his perfect features – surprise, shock and naked pain. I must have imagined the last one.

So, it must be Dr. Cullen's wife could not get used to the city life at L.A. then. I could feel the pain and fatigue was descending on me again.

"Thanks for visiting me, it's so thoughtful. Welcome back to Forks." I tried to prolong the conversation and wanted to ask why he was present in my room, but my body was too weak and my world went black once again.

EPOV

Bella lapsed into an exhausted sleep. I was stunned by Bella's response to my presence. The room was silent with just the beeping of the machines and the heartbeats of the two human.

"It didn't seem right, her head must have been damaged somehow, I have to see the doctor right now" Bella's mom rushed out of the room without even waiting for my response. Yes, her responses were all wrong. Instead of throwing out her grieves and anguish for my return, she treated me as if we were no more than a stranger. There was something terribly wrong with Bella. I jumped out of the window and sat on the tree opposite. I immediately rang Carlisle. He picked up the phone after the first pause. "I am on my way already. Alice told me the emergency. I will be there in three minutes and you better wait for me at the entrance."

I jumped off the tree and sat on the bench at the entrance and waited for these three agonizing three minutes to pass. My mind and body was oblivious to the surrounding thoughts and people. I could think of one thing and one thing only - what if Bella didn't remember me and there was not a single slide of memory of my love to her left in her whole human life. I thought I was in hell in the past few months. It was pure purgatory now. The absolute erasure of my life from her memory was a last straw that broke my back. I put my head into my hands and let the pain wash over me, let it throw me into a sea of despair. I didn't know whether I still had any strength left to fight against the odds and surface again.


	3. Heaven

_I put my head into my hands and let the pain wash over me, let it throw me into a sea of despair. I didn't know whether I still had any strength left to fight against the odds and surface again._

"You will be fine, son. We are here." Carlisle's arms wrapped around me and I drew his strength from his compassion and love. Another pair of arms held me from behind. "We all love you; you know that, don't you? For now, the most important thing is to get Bella back on her foot and it cannot be done without you." Alice whispered to my ears and pecked a kiss on my hairs. Yes, Bella was the most important thing now. She was my world although I was no longer hers. My sorrow could wait but Bella couldn't. I took a grip on my emotions and uttered thanks to my beloved family members. For all the things I regretted for my immortal life, here were two members that I could not find any regret having.

We went up the floors. Carlisle had to see the doctor in charge – to offer help and to get the details. Her mom was still with the doctor. Their conversation dimply flew into our room. Alice and I stayed beside Bella. Alice was trying to see the vision in her head but they were all muddled and not clear. It seemed that a critical decision was yet to be made in order for Bella's future to become clear. "It will be fine. They let Carlisle to take charge here. Although Bella will have to suffer much, she will be fine." Alice recited her vision out loud, more to comfort herself than to let me know because she knew I had already read it first hand from her mind.

It was painful to look at Bella. She whimpered and twisted in pain although the IV was doing its job. I took hold of her hand gently and sang to her the lullaby I wrote for her. She seemed a bit settled and rested then. If it could ease her pain, I would sing it till eternity.

BPOV

I was running around the wood to search for something dearest to my heart. The trees were encroaching on me but I did not intend to run away from this all green place. I went deeper into the wood, desperately to get back something that was so important that my life dependent on it. It seemed that I was running in circle… I was so tired and overcome by the desolate feeling that this something so dearest to me was not there for me to find. I collapsed on the grass. My heart hurt so much that I had to put my arms around myself to stop myself from breaking into pieces. I was then dimply aware of a cold but gentle breeze, with it a symphony so sweet and peaceful that I looked up. The meadow was over there. I floated to this sweet heaven and uttered a sign, recognized that it was where I had been searching for, it was where my heart laid.


	4. The invisible wall

**Hope you don't mind the frequent switch of point-of-view in this Chapter, just that I love both Edward and Bella too much!!**

EPOV

It had been another three days, three days and nights that Bella shifted in and out of conscience. With Carlisle's constant monitoring, Bella looked much better now. Her face now had a little hint of red and she slept much peacefully. When she woke up, her eyes were not dull with pain although there was always an expression akin to melancholy always hovering around her fragile body.

She did not remember our time together. For her, I was just one of the weird Cullens who was sitting at the end table of the school cafeteria. She indifferently accepted my excuse of my being a temporary assistant to Carlisle in the hospital during the summer break time and therefore, was somehow always in her room when she came awake. I tried to stay at the background as far as possible. I was now given another chance not to mess with her life. I would not enter into her world again to leave any chaos and grievances. Her life would be full of sunlight and happiness. That's the only gift I could give her now. It was only when night came and all were quiet that I allowed myself to drown in my own sorrow and let myself think of the barren life ahead when I had to leave Bella for good.

"Edward?"

"Hey, Bella, is there anything I could get you? Your mom went back home to have a rest."

"No, it's ok, I am fine. I just want to have some water. Could you bring some to me?" She was embarrassed to ask any favour from anybody unless absolutely necessary.

I helped her to sit up on her bed and passed her a cup of lukewarm water. Our fingers touched, like the first time when we were in biology class. The electricity feel was still there but I could control my thirst much better now.

"Your hands are so cold." She looked puzzled, rather than surprised.

I gazed at her chocolate eyes which were so fathomless. How I wanted to touch her face to make sure that she was truly there and well again. I inhaled deeply instead, to let her scent spread within my body and became part of me. I managed to remind myself to keep the distance.

"I shall call Carlisle to check on you." I walked out of the room.

BPOV

"Your hands are so cold." the words just burst out of my mouth of its own accord. Once it was said, I was puzzled by the unnamed feeling that touching his hands was so pleasant and familiar. The feeling of joy and wholeness was uncalled for. How embarrassing if he could read my mind! As if he could read my thoughts, he looked at me intently as if I was unreal. Then, he suddenly sat up and left the room, saying that he had to find Dr. Cullen.

I was surprised by the acute loneliness I felt once he walked out of the room. It was as if he brought all the sunny and happy thoughts away along with him. I must be out of my mind. It was strange I should feel so compellingly attracted to one person who only looked upon me as another patient who had to help his father with. He didn't even want to be in the same room with me. He must think of me as a weird creature. It was indeed weird that I was unable to recall how the accident exactly happened. It was a total blank to me as to why the motorcycle could hit the tree head on without brake. It looked like a suicide attempt, rather than a mere accident.

I was trying to shift my weight to the other side to lessen the pain of my leg when Edward walked in with Dr. Cullen. He was at my side so fast that I missed a heartbeat.

"What's the matter? Are you in pain?" He looked so shattered that I automatically raised my hand to his face, trying to erase his worries. As usual, my clumsiness achieved more than I bargained for. The IV attached to my arm was yanked out due to my sudden action. Blood started to drip onto the bed sheet. The smell of my blood was nauseating and I started to lean against Edward when my strength started to fade away.

"It's fine. I shall take it from here." Dr. Cullen said kindly. An involuntary groan escaped from my mouth as he took me from Edward. It was as if he was taking a part of me away. The hurt I felt was so sudden and intense that my body shook with its impact. My eyes swam with anguish tears. I started to hyperventilate.

Edward touched my forehead and whispered incessant murmurs that I could not hear. The sound was so much like the symphony I dreamt before. I was only vaguely aware that Dr. Cullen had injected some more medicine while I was slipping in my sweet private meadow.

EPOV

Her blood was as sweet and portent as ever to me. My throat was scorching hot and the venom flew. It was quite some time since my last hunt. I welcomed the thirst and pain like a long lost friend. It was a feeling that I longed for in the past few months. Bella leaning against me was just like the nights she slept in my arms. Misinterpreting my motionless, Carlisle pulled her away from me. A scowl escaped from my month involuntarily. Before I could utter an apology to Carlisle, Bella was hyperventilating with pain all written over her lovely face. It must be the blood. She could not stand the smell of blood. There were so many tubes and needles around her. I placed my hands on her forehead and whispered my undying love to her. I spoke so fast that she could not possibly hear the words which were bottomed up in me for so long since I saw her again. She seemed to quiet down, whether it was the effect of the injection Carlisle gave her or it was the listening of my words of love.

"I think you should take a hunt and freshen up. Esme has been waiting for you since yesterday. Bella will be sleeping tonight and Alice said tomorrow would be a sunny day. This room is facing east." Carlisle spoke.

I walked to the window side and look at the twilight outside. Was it the end or as Bella said the beginning? There were so much odds against us and I doubted if I had the strength to carry through this double purgatory.

"I don't know whether I would have the strength to leave or if I leave, the strength to come back. It was devastating to watch her in pain and do nothing. I want so much to let her have a piece of me in her for the rest of her life. My existence in the past century was useless without that. I cannot stay by her side and now, I can't even leave a memory."

Carlisle looked at me and delivered the unsaid words. "There is nothing wrong with Bella's head. Probably, the whole thing was too much for her that her mind automatically shielded herself from further harm. She just needs some time to work through the process. Love could heal all kinds of wounds. There must be other ways to solve this. Let's center on getting Bella well first. Alice is waiting for you at the entrance. Go."

Carlisle reminded me of how much pain I had inflicted on Bella, more than her fragile body could hold. I could not do this again. I would rather hurt myself than cause her any more pain. It was now crystal clear to me what I should do. I stole one last glance at my sleeping beauty and said my final goodbye to her in silence.

**Do you like the plot so far? Please give me some feedback, million thanks!!!**


	5. Goodbye

BPOV

My days were clustered with post-traumatic examinations, endless rounds of visits by Renee, Charlie and Jacob. Jacob felt so bad about the accident and took all the blame for even teaching me to drive the motorcycle. Although I could not any details of how the accident happened, I was sure that the fault was all mine and it was not remotely related to my driving skill. The road was straight and even. There must be something that distracted my attention at a particular moment that I failed to see ahead. I explained to him but he still looked so guilty that I hugged him more esthetically than usual. He responded by holding me so tight that I could hardly breathe. It felt so wrong. My anguish was so strong that out of the blue, my eyes swam with tears and a groan of pain was let out from my heart.

"What's the matter? Did I hug you too tight?" Jacob looked up in concern.

"Sorry, Jacob. If I tell you I felt so wrong about the situation but can't tell you the reason why, will you think of me as crazy?" I looked at him confusedly.

Jacob walked to the far end of the room. His body was shaking with an emotion that I didn't understand. He seemed to like to expose in any minute.

"Jacob?" I ventured.

"I just thought that I was at such upper hand that I was sure to win. It seemed that it would not be the case. How can he be so powerful? I really hate him!" he smiled with pain.

I was totally at a loss at what he said. He come back to my side and spoke almost inaudibly: "If he is here and now, I could fight him till the end of the earth. However, how could I fight with his memory, something so powerful even it no longer exists? I can only say I wish you could love me more."

"What are you talking about? Who is he?"

"Bella, are we friends?"

"Of course we are! You are a family to me."

"So, I shall not do anything to harm you. If it happens, it would happen with me having no part of it. Just remember, I shall be always by your side." He kissed me on the forehead and then, hurried through the door.

"Hey Jacob! Where are you going? So hurry? Bella, how are you today?" Charlie enquired at the entrance.

"I don't know. It's been a confusing day. I can't understand a thing today!" I spoke in frustration.

"Should I call Dr. Cullen?" I rolled my eyes and said, "Please don't bother Dr. Cullen again. He's got other patients. I am fine. What do you have for me as lunch?" I tried to distract him from further bothering with Dr. Cullen.

That night lying on bed, my confused mind gave way to my heart. I haven't thought about Edward's absence for three days now. Only at this time when my rational mind was losing its grip on my thoughts that I would allow myself to admit how much I missed his company, his melancholy and his simple presence. I missed his tired and sad eyes which seemed to be holding so many secrets and carrying so much sorrow. He often looked out of the windows for hours, being lost in his own purgatory. I hated the unknown she who had inflicted so such pain and desolation to him. It's so pathetic for me to feel this way when Edward had all along shown only perfect courtesy and treated me like just one of his causal acquaintances. How I wished things would be otherwise….

I heard a familiar voice next to me. I didn't expect any visitor at this hour.

"Hey, are you all right? Sorry to disturb your sleep. I should have come earlier" It's Angela, my one and truly friend whispered.

"I am fine, just trying to get back my strength. What brought you here so late?

"It probably can wait for tomorrow and I finally decided that I should give it to you the soonest possible. Edward asked to give you something today after school. He said that he had to leave Forks at a very short notice and he wouldn't find the time to deliver this to you in person. He said he was sorry." There was a gift box in her hand.

"Did he say where he would be going and when he would be back?" I tensed.

"I asked but he didn't say where he would be going, just that he might not come back to Forks for a long period. So sorry, Bella." She said with regret and handed me the gift box.

"Many thanks, Angela." I took the box and put it next to my bed. 'That's very kind of him. Always so thoughtful."

"Bella, you really can't remember the accidents and ….. other things?" Angela ventured uncertainly.

"Much I want to, the memory just deluded me." Angela just walked to the window and glanced back at me, her face full of hesitation.

"What's the matter?" I asked in concern.

"I don't know whether I should tell you this and interfere with the destiny but it is so agonizing watching you two suffer so much. Bella ….. there are more than the accident that you forgot."

That explained my feeling of hollowness since I woke up from the deathbed a week ago. My mind told me that it did not matter and life would go on as it should be. However, the anguish stayed in my heart. I rushed into speech without giving a chance for my mind to stop me, "I always felt there was more but nobody was willing to tell me. What's it? There is a vital part of me missing; I could feel it and I can't be whole again if you don't tell me about it. I feel barely alive now. For better or worse, I have to know. Please tell me. " I begged.

"I can't say too much. I can only tell you that Edward did not give you this present out of kindness. It's much more than that. Bella, listen to your heart, did Edward feel like just a friend to you? Did you miss him these past few days more than you should?" She took hold of my hands and continued, "After I leave, I think you should open the present. I don't know what it is but when Edward handed it to me; I felt he was giving you a part of him together with the present. Give me a ring if you need me, I'll be always there for you." She kissed my cheek and left.

I looked at the present in my hand. It was wrapped with a simple white paper and tied with a string which made of grass. A single purple flower was attached at the knot. The box felt like a feather. No, don't open it; it's just some kind of standard souvenir. My mind was screaming with protest and made the last attempt to block me from knowing more. My trembling hands picked out the purple flower. It was a tiny flower with a faint smell of sweetness. The smell was vaguely familiar, full of sunshine and tranquility. I slowing removed the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside, there was only a single sheet of drawing paper and a CD. A note with a neat and beautiful handwriting was placed on top.

**Bella,**

**If there were only one piece of memory to treasure…**

**If there were only one string of sound to stay …..**

**Forever,**

**Edward**

I picked up the drawing. It was a colour sketch of a place. The place was surrounded by tall green trees and in the middle, there was a round piece of grassland, full of white, purple and yellow little flowers. The sun was shining on this piece of fairyland, making the grass on the floor so green and soft. It was a place of tranquility untouched by time. Every sketch was so finely drawn, like a lover's gentle caress. My fingers slowly traced the lines to absorb the warm love emitted. The box slide out of my lap and fell on the floor. There was nothing written on the CD. In a daze, I put the CD into the player which Charlie bought me earlier this week. I put the earpieces on and pressed the "play" bottom. The music gently started with a pure and twinkling note and gradually ascended to a saturation of rich and complex clause. I remember this melody. It was the symphony I heard in my dream. I looked down at the picture on my lap. It was the meadow that I dreamt about. How did he know? I stared at the meadow. It was incomplete. Something was not right. Pain surged through my whole body as I allowed myself to recognize the missing piece in the picture. Edward should be there. He should be standing right under the sun and glittering like millions of little diamonds, his face wearing my favorite half-crooked smile. Flashes of the past came back to me in slow motion – the incomprehensible hatred from his eyes in my biology class, the cold embrace in the near-death incident at the campus, the touch of his hands in the Port Angeles restaurant, the sweet voice of confessions in the meadow, that first hesitant kiss in the wood, the thunderous baseball game, the subsequent agony of the angel in the ballet studio and lastly, the unfortunate accident at his home and the final heartbreaking conversation in the trail.

**Do you like the twist? Please review, many thanks!**


	6. Reunion

I crumbled to the floor. I remember why the accident happened. I was hoping to hear Edward's voice when I was speeding on that track. I waited and waited but there was nothing. My heart panicked and my body froze in fear that I would not be able to hear his bittersweet voice again. The next thing I knew were the shattering sounds of metal and the unwelcome of blackness.

I was drowning in the sea of agony. Edward came back to me but my stubborn mind, in order to shield itself from the all too painful experience, simply shut off the memory. Now, Edward was gone again. What could I do to change this twisted fate. I was trying to wipe my endless tear away to look at my personal little meadow given by Edward again when I heard Carlisle's concerned voice,

"Hey, Bella, what's wrong?" he helped me up from the floor.

"Oh! Carlisle, what have I done?" I whispered brokenly.

"You remember!" he exclaimed with a joy that I could not share.

"Where is Edward? I need to see him, please."

Carlisle looked at me pitifully and spoke very slowly as if he knew his every word would be like a dragger striking right to my heart, "I don't know. He left earlier this evening and said he would let us know when it was time. I knew there was something wrong, so I ran back to hospital to have a look at you. Bella, breathe! You are on the verge of fainting." Carlisle instructed urgently.

"You are still very weak, Bella. If you want to look for Edward, you have to let your body mend and recover. You have to take good care of yourself. My whole family will be looking out for you. You know we shall do anything for you and Edward, don't you?" He escorted me back to the bed.

"No! Carlisle, he is now hurting somewhere and I could not just leave him in agony while I am lying on this bed. You have to help me. Is there no way we can find him?"

'He has the phone with him but I doubt whether he would answer that. Even Alice cannot locate him. They are together for so long that they know exactly how to avoid one another from knowing what's in their mind. If Edward doesn't want us to find him, he will run away when he hears our thoughts nearby."

"Will he go to Italy to antagonize the Volturi?" I was frozen with fear when the thought popped up in my head.

"You know about the Volturi?" Carlisle paused a while to think of the possibility. "No, I don't think so. It's just too painful for him to stay here at the moment. He loves you too much to leave you for good. He will ultimately come back to protect you from a distance but I can't say how long it would be, it could be months or it could be years."

The picture his words created was too horrible to imagine. How could Edward do this to me? No, he wouldn't, not after his previous running away resulted in such agony for both of us and with such disastrous outcome - a total erasure of our life together. I knew it in my heart that he loved me too much to risk not seeing me altogether.

"I know where he is." I spoke with confidence. "Bur, you have to help me find him."

"How?"

"This is not the place. Please bring me to your house and I shall explain."

"No, it's too late for you to take any action tonight. It's dark outside although it won't be a problem to us. You'd better stay the night here if you plan to do something outrageous tomorrow. I shall get you some more med and vitamins." He hurried out without waiting for my response.

I didn't know whether he truly believed in me or it was just a tactic to luring me to stay in the hospital. I looked at the picture in my hand again. Yes, he won't leave me this time. Carlisle came back in a second and added something to the IV. I immediately felt the drowsiness weighing on me. "Stay strong, Bella. Only you can find Edward for us now." That were the last words I heard before oblivion.

"Good morning!" a ding-dong bell voice whispered in my ears. I woke at a start, thinking I was dreaming again. I was lying on the black coach in Edward's room and Alice was smiling at me. "How come…?"

"You are not dreaming. I brought you here last night when you were medicated. It was faster this way. They are all waiting downstairs for you."

"Oh! Can I have a minute?" I hesitated.

"Of course! I put all the things in my washroom for you to use. I bet you don't want to let Edward see all these girlie things when he is back." She gleamed.

I felt so much stronger this morning. I didn't know whether it was the result of last night's medication or my body's reaction to my determination today. As I was on the way to the living room downstairs, I was seized by a sudden uncertainty that my assumption might be wrong and there was a real opportunity that I might not be able to look at Edward once more. I staggered. No, I had faith in Edward's love. I saw it in the picture and I felt it in my lullaby.

All the Cullens were there, except the one I most wanted to see of course. "Good morning." I spoke uncertainly.

"Oh, Bella! We miss you so much! So glad you are here with us." Esme ran up to me and gave me a much needed hug.

"Hey, sis" Emmett gave me another bear hug.

"You look so much better this morning. We made you some breakfast." Carlisle gestured to the dining table next to their spotless kitchen.

"Thanks." I was not hungry but forced myself to eat the whole dish. Rosalie was sitting on the coach opposite and was eyeing me with suspicion.

"You really know where he is?" Her voice betrayed her worries.

"Watch out your attitude, Rose" Esme reprimanded.

"It's ok." I intervened hurrily "I know all of you are worried sick about Edward. I don't know whether I could find him but I will do all I can. I want to go to here." I brought out the meadow picture Edward gave me. "He might be there. It's at the tip of the hill behind our school. I went with Edward once. I don't know the way. I was too scared to look at that time. As I am not strong enough to climb so high, you guys have to bring me to somewhere near to this meadow. You can't be too close to the meadow. If you are too close, Edward will hear your thinking and leave. You can't run fast enough to catch him."

"Will this plan work? Alice?" Carlisle spoke in measure.

Alice stayed dazed for a while. Her lovely brows were knitted enough. "I can only see many confused scenes. So many decisions are yet to be made to make the outcome clear." She signed.

"Maybe you should rest for a few days more, Bella. You look so fragile." Jasper looked at me in concern. I then felt I was bathing in an atmosphere of peace and warmth. Though unwillingly, I relaxed my over stung muscles and my eyelids became heavier every second.

"No, I have to do it right now. If you guys don't help me, I shall do it on my own." I stood up a bit too hastily and the room started to spin around. I griped the table edge and steadied myself.

"OK, we shall take you." Carlisle decided. Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Esme smiled and immediately hovered around me, bombarding me with questions so quickly spoken that I could not hear a word.

"Thank you." I always knew that it was Carlisle who called the shot on such important issue.

**Many thanks for the support! Hope you enjoy the story.**


	7. The Search

Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Esme smiled and immediately hovered around me, bombarding me with questions so quickly spoken that I could not hear a word. The only one remained unchanged in position and posture was Rosalie.

Carlisle hastily supplemented "We don't have any problem to bring you up to that hill. We should be able to track Edward's scent there. What worries me is whether you could find the way to that place on your own after we leave you and also, whether physically you have the necessary strength to carry through the plan. It sounds too risky to me. I don't think Edward would forgive anyone of us if anything happens to you."

"Take this." All eyes were swayed to Rosalie in surprise. She stood up and take out something from her jean pocket. A shiny silver mobile phone was in her hand. "You could phone us if you are lost or too exhausted to go on. We could be nearby to catch you if that's the case. Bella, thank you for helping us to find Edward" She paused for a while and adde "My apologies for my rude behaviors in the past as well. They were uncalled for. Carlisle is right that Edward will not forgive us if anything happens to you but I don't think we could bear to look at Edward's sorrow in a hundred years to come either if he loses you. I hope it all works out fine at the end. "

I was totally surprised by Rosalie's frankness and sincerity that I didn't know how to react at that moment. I must have looked like an idiot standing there with mouth half-opened and eyes swam with unshed tears.

"Rose, I am so pound of you but your apology really sucks!" Emmett said with his usual playfulness but the hug he gave Rosalie was warm and hard. The awkward moment passed and we concentrated on the details of our plan.

To be discreet, Esme drove me in Edward's Volvo and parked it at the campus carpark. Alice carried me on her back and ran into the forest. Others followed us from a distance. Alice ran pretty fast and bounced gracefully like a reindeer. I remembered the runs on Edward's back. His strides were more like a cheetah – so powerful and purposeful, designed to kill and triumph. Looking back, it was silly for me to feel so afraid. As Edward said, he would not let anything harm me.

"He let you go." my mind reminded me sarcastically. I could feel the severing pain started to spread in my chest. The void began to show its presence. His returning from his self-inflicted exile might be caused by guilt and compassion, rather than love as I had so stupidly assumed before. What if we were all wrong about the reason of his leaving again? I shivered in fright. Alice sensed my sudden frigidness and enquired in concern. "What's the matter?" I murmured to her back "Do you think Edward loves me?"

"You are really a stupid lamb!" Although I knew Alice had probably seen many visions of our relationship, it was still a shock to me that she knew so much. Alice continued "Oh! You don't mind, do you? I hold no secret from Edward either. I tried not to see too much but Edward was so confused and unhappy at that time that I had to keep an eye on him. Back to your stupid question, only you are more important to him than he himself. It was for your own good, though I tried to tell him otherwise, that he ran away. He rather hurt himself than inflict slightest pain on you."

"But I am so ordinary! I was so afraid all the time that Edward would leave or disappear. How he could possibly love me so much as he claimed? What's there in me?"

"You have no idea what we went through in the past few months. If one could share his pain in any way, any one of us will jump the gun immediately. It hurt so much to look at him in pain. Rosalie's gratitude would be of no surprise if you felt our helplessness in these past few months." Alice put me down and looked fully at my eyes. "Don't make the same mistake Edward did. Don't underestimate the love between you two for each other."

I stared at her serene face. Theworries that were nagging me all these months, right from the beginning when Edward showed an interested in me, were fading away. "I should have been stronger last time. Even if I had no faith in myself, I should have trusted his love. He is irrevocably in love with me as I am with him." I finally understood.

'What's the problem? No trace of Edward's scent?" Emmett, being the first to keep up with us, arrived and wandered why we stopped.

"No, Edward had been here, his scent is still strong." Alice picked me again and galloped onto the next spur toavoid any unwelcome question from the tactless Emmett. After a while, the fog began to thin and rays of sunlight penetrated through the thick tree canopy above.

"I think we are almost there." I said. Alice stopped and put me gently on the ground. The rest of the family arrived and looked around intently.

"I think you should head south, Edward's scent is the strongest there." Jasper said.

"You do take care. If there is anything, you just call us. We will be right behind you." Esme looked at me worriedly. "Maybe we should not let you do it alone after all. It's too risky; there must be other ways to find Edward. Edward might not be even there." She voiced her doubt.

"No, I have to try. That's the least I can do right now." I said with conviction. They seemed to be debating amongst themselves as to whether to take me seriously.

"The worst thing that could happen at this time in the forest is Bella being get lost. She has the phone with her, right? It should be alright. I am all for Bella." Emmett gave me a twinkle.

The rest of them unwillingly gave their consent to my going alone into the forest. I really wanted to give each of them a hug but I didn't know if such gesture would be welcome. So I just murmured a thank you and looked at this nearly mine family with gratitude. With all their love in me, I walked slowly to the direction Jasper had pointed to me.


	8. The Hunt I

My whole body was focused on the path or rather, the moss between the tree trunks. As if I had known the route by heart, I never hesitated on which route to take. The cottony silence and the waning light didn't bother me. There was not a single fear in me for being lost in this pervasive greenery. My only worry was that Edward was not there to meet me. It would be enough that he was there, safe and intact, even he might not want to see me anymore. I finally understood how Edward could let himself leave me in the first place. One could shoulder all the pain if it meant that the other party can live in happiness. It was instead a small price to pay.

I didn't know how long I had been walking. The atmosphere, quite unlike what I had expected, was peaceful and timeless. I heard the far away cry of the birds above, smelled the pungent scent of brush and felt the gentle breeze and the occasional shades of sunlight which penetrated the thick green canopy on my skin. As usual, I tripped and stumbled a lot. My jean was decorated with patches of mud and grasses. I congratulated myself that I worn long sleeve shirt and jean today and that I hadn't got any scratches on my exposed skin so far. It would be embarrassing to appear in such a mess in front of Edward. To have the smell of my blood hanging in the air would be unthinkable.

My heart felt with joy when I finally saw the small cluster of little purple flowers on the grass bed ahead. They were the same as the one attached to his gift. I could even smell the faint pollen in the air. I started to race ahead but was halted by a sudden surge of fear. What if I was wrong? Edward was not there after all. The thought that I might not be able to see him again left me breathless. I sagged against the nearest tree and didn't even have the strength to take a step further.

"Coward!" I screamed to myself. That was the least I could do for Edward and the Cullens, not to say selfishly for myself. I took up the short distance and let myself walk through the small opening to the clearing. The meadow was as beautiful as I remembered. It looked exactly the same as the picture Edward drew for me. The sunlight was shining gently, covering the whole place with a blanket of sparkles that made it surreal. There were birdcalls in the air. Such place should not exist. My eyes scanned the surrounding in slow motion and looked for the sparkles of my own diamonds in every hidden corner behind the trees. The tears slowly blurred my vision as I searched in vain for the missing piece of the place. The world seemed denser and quieter every second. My heart was beating so fast I had a pain at the centre of my chest, a burning feeling. It dug out a hole inside of me, a window through which the emptiness crept in. I knew from experience that soon everything would be dark, but it didn't matter anymore.

As if to echo my grief, dark clouds gloomed over and blocked out all the warmth and light. The rain started pattering on my numb face and my lifeless body. Curled into a ball, I lied down on the grass moss and hoped the rain could wash away the pain that was now etching into my every pore of my skin.

I was drowning in my own sorrow when I realized the phone in my pocket was vibrating. My hope and life was slowly draining away with the pouring rain. The vibration continued ceaselessly, shouting for attention. Alice, whose face knitted with concern, appeared. They must have worried about me. Though I failed them terribly, I should have let them know that at least I was fine. I picked up the phone and heard Alice's urgent and desperate voice.

"Run! Run Bella!"

It was too late. A shrilling laugh tore through the sheet of rain.

"What a pathetic creature! I honestly don't know what they saw in you." The voice was one that I had not heard of. It was petite with a child-like high-pitched cowbell sound, incongruent with the derogating words uttered and the framing orange hair figure in front of me.

"Victoria?" I couldn't believe my eyes. She was even prettier than I remembered. Although the rain spattered her orange hair on her face, she still emitted radiance and elegance. Only her eyes betrayed her vicious and callous mind.

"So you remembered me. Where is your watchdog?" Although the words were said causally, I noted her eyes were cautiously scanning the trees behind.

"How do you find me?" I asked the question just because I was curious.

"I was passing through when I smelled your scent. How would I to know that here, deep in this forsaken forest, lays my most wanted creature on earth?" Her voice broke with hatred at the last few words. "Where is he? He has to witness when I take my sweetest revenge for my James."

"He is not here. Just do what you most wanted to do and leave." I knew for certain that she would not let me survive in any sense. Her revenge would be quick and so fatal that nothing on earth could save me, not even the venom. I knew the Cullens were coming to rescue me but I didn't think they could make it in time. I hoped Victoria would finish me off and left before they arrived. I didn't want any one of my family being hurt or worse, killed by this monster standing in front of me. I didn't regret for one tiniest moment to be dying here. In fact, I was glad that I wasn't killed by James in the ballet studio. To die in a place someone you love seemed a good way to go.

"Why the hurry?" Her bell-like laughter echoed through the trees and gave me goose bumps. Her bloody red eyes, in stark contrast with her pale face, stared at me with such hatred that it was unconceivable that she didn't take my life right here and now.

"Why you hate me so much?" I was puzzled. I wanted to know the reason for my death before my last breath.

'Your dog killed my man. I have to see him suffer the same agony as I am suffering now. It won't be perfect if he can't be here to hear your last breath, your last heart beat."

"It's lucky that you caught me alone. There won't be another chance for you. He just went hunting with his family." I can't tell her that Edward had left me or otherwise, she might come up with other plans of hurting him.

"You made it too easy for me. Should you be running away with fright? It would be more interesting if there is at least some thrill of the chase. Don't you agree?" She changed into a crouch position and let out a shrill growl.

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	9. The Hunt II

The creature in front of me became a true predator and I, her prey. I think I would not be able to move. However, when I heard her scowl, my eyes darted to the nearest escape and my legs started to run to that direction on their own. It happened with a speed and a ferocity I could hardly fathom, although every moment of the hunt remained vivid in my mind for the rest of my life, right down to the crunching sound of her feet against the sand, right down to the slightest wave of air when she started to pounce and right down to the sickening feel of her skin against mine. I was flung through the air and hit the tree with a mighty unmusical clang. I struggled up to the sitting position and pressed my back against the tree truck. My legs were trembling too badly to hold me.

"So, do you have fun?" Victoria jumped up in front of me and pounded her fists next to my face. The whole tree trembled and leaves fell down like drizzling snow, creating an incongruent atmosphere of peace and tranquility. I moaned and averted her fury glance. I was now absolutely convinced that I was going to my death. To give her the satisfaction of proving me as a weak and fragile nature, however, was not something I was prepared to give. The silence was stretching out.

"Giving me the silent treatment? It would not do you any good." She yanked me up and wrenched my head backward. Her monstrous mouth yawned; the red eyes sparkled in the dimming daylight.

"I am going nowhere except to my death now but I would do it with dignity." I spoke between my dry and rapid breathing.

She let me go and waltzed away back to her original position. She threw back her head and made a laugh that was like a perfect soprano. Then the laughter faded, and although it stayed on her lips, there was no more amusement in her eyes.

"What we have is time. I really want to know how long it would take to break your so noble spirit"

I could literally see countless ways of killing me were chasing through her mind. How could I be so stupid, so willfully blind? As Edward was not here, she would lash out her anger in another way – slowly torturing me until my last breath ceased. I had to hurry up.

"You are luckier than James. He didn't have such luxury. It's a pity that he couldn't be here with you to enjoy the hunt!"

That brought her back fast. She let out a roar much too loud to have come from such a petite body. It was not even like a human sound, more like an angry snarl like a dog whose field had been invaded. She was now ready to leap for me and ripe me apart, just like the Cullens did to James. In a moment I would feel her teeth. I braced for her hands and the feel of her nails bitching into my skin when there was a thunderous crashing sound and a hoarse furious shout.

I was too stunned to scream. I was being held so tightly against him. His face was against my neck. But in a split second, Edward was standing with his back against me, his arms spread wide, protectively in front of me. If I had not felt his cold lips on my skin and saw the suppressed emotion in his almost black eyes before his turning away to face the danger before us, I would have thought the hug was just another produce of my all too active imagination.

"Are you all right?" His eyes centered on Victoria in perfect concentration.

My memory didn't do any justice to him. The Edward in my memory was just a poor imitation of the one standing in front of me. I absorbed in hunger – his voice, his scent and his every move. I felt complete and alive for the first time after he left. How I had dreamt about this moment of reunion in the past six months but I had never thought that the beginning might also be the end of our time together.

"Yes. Please be careful." There were so many things I wanted to tell him but it was impossible under the circumstance. Not wanting to distract him unnecessarily, my hand searched him and gave him a lightest squeeze. It was the only contact we could have under the circumstance.

"Don't cry." I was unaware of the tears spilling from my eyes.

Victoria was jerking from side to side already and made thick sounds deep in her throat. Eye wide and terrified, I saw she trussed a broken tree truck up with quick and dancing economy. Edward spanned me effortlessly to another tree and held the defensive posture in front of me. Hearing Victoria's thought before she could act, Edward always moved a fraction faster than her attack. However, Victoria was lethal. She had been in the killing field for so long. Every moved she made was calculated with precision and determination to kill. She tried to herd us deeper in the field while Edward tried to move nearer to the alley. Even I was aware that Edward was put in a very disadvantage position with me on the run. It was only a matter of time that Victoria could outrun both of us.

After another skillful maneuver from Edward, he grabbed and pushed me away towards the alley and said

"Go! Run down back to the forest. Alice and Carlisle are coming up already. I could hear their thoughts. I shall come back to you when I am finished with Victoria."

There was no time for goodbye. "No! She is mine." Victoria banged her body on Edward with sickening force.

"Go!" Edward stumbled backward and bounced back to grip Victoria back to the clearing.

I found my legs and ran all I could to seek help from Alice and Carlisle.

"No, you wouldn't" This snarl came from neither Victoria nor Edward. I was suddenly yanked backward and thrown airborne back to the meadow, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. It was Laurent.

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	10. The Fight Part I

**Sorry for not updating earlier but it was very difficult for me to write "The Fight", hope you like it and give me some feedback, thanks!!!!!!**

EPOV

My heart, if it beat, would have been stopped when I saw Bella flying back to the meadow. I shot out to catch her. However, Victoria curled her arm around my shins and yanked me to the other side. I struggled to get going again while there was still time. I caught her just in time to cushion her fall but I knew that my body was just a little better than the hard surface underneath.

"Laurent is here!" Bella looked at me with frightened eyes.

How stupid I was. I was so focused in my fight with Victoria that I failed to catch Laurent's thinking nearby. It was lucky that he didn't kill Bella on the spot or otherwise, I would not have the chance to see Bella again…. or to say goodbye to her when I took in the gravity of the situation. If there was only Victoria, I might have a chance to win; but with the two of them, our fate was doomed. Bella seemed to know it at the same time.

"You must go when there is still a chance, Edward." Bella gripped my arm and begged. Her tears spilt over to her lovely face.

"You are my destiny. It is because of me that you are here. I am so sorry that I always put you to such danger." I shook my head unbelievably. She still didn't know how much I loved her. I realized that these few seconds might have been our last moments together. I had to convince her or she might have no chance to know. "My life is yours to keep, always. Without you, there would be nothing." I leaned forward to kiss her trembling lips. She was so warm and alive. The beating of her heart was the most important thing in my world. How can I let it come undone? I had to think of a way to keep her from harm, even at the expense of my existence.

She wined her arms around me and pitched her voice low. "We are in it together. Don't ever think of ditching me somewhere safe and face them alone. I don't want to live without you anymore."

The determination and fearlessness in her voice surprised me. She should be afraid. She had a right to be frightened. Even at such critical moment of life and death, she could still amaze me with her insensitivity to the danger ahead or maybe, her headstrong courage to face the challenges ahead. Her love filled me with new strength.

"No, we will walk out of this together." I said with conviction. I backed us against the cliff and turned to face the two monsters in front of us.

"So touching! It makes me all the happier when I think about how you would feel when I finish the game today." Victoria said with a skeptical smile on her face.

Victoria was thinking how to dislodge Bella from my back. She would start the simplest way. She would attack at the front and when I strike back, Laurent would take Bella away from the left. Victoria leapt forward as she had thought. At the last split second, I swayed Bella to my right side and kicked Victoria straight at Laurent. She let out a shriek and collided with Laurent. I grasped Bella back to our original position.

Victoria and Laurent resumed their attack in no time. This time, Laurent did the attack first. He moved like a serpent. His razor-sharp teeth are griming in the now drizzling rain.

"Why are you helping Victoria? You said before you didn't like their way of life." I had to dissuade Laurent from joining force with Victoria as it would be our only chance of winning.

"You are right, but how could one resist joining the winning force and share the glory and food, so to speak." Laurent replied without the slightest sense of shame.

"But if you take this course, you will have the whole Cullen family chasing your back. Have you thought about that?" Laurent was floored by this argument. I could see his indecision now present in his blood-red eyes. Being chased after by six vampires clearly was not a situation he wanted to put himself into. He was remembering last time when he was nearly killed by the gigantic wolf like creature in Alaska and how James and Victoria fled for their own lives without a thought of him.

"You think Victoria will lend a hand when you are cornered? You remember last time she ditched you? That's what she is good at, right? You still have a chance to change side now, friend or foe, Laurent?"

I could feel Bella frozen with anticipation all the time when I tried to persuade Laurent. She hid deeper behind me as if she knew one wrong step from her would trigger the insatiable thirst in Laurent that would completely cloud any rational thought in a hungry vampire.

"You want her blood as much as I do. It smells so good, hmm." Victoria looked at me with vicarious thrill when mouthing the words to Laurent.

Laurent's eyes feasted on Bella's face which was half-hidden behind me. I could literally see the beast in him slowly waking up.


	11. The Fight Part II

"_You want her blood as much as I do. It smells so good, hmm." Victoria looked at me with vicarious thrill when mouthing the words to Laurent._

_Laurent's eyes feasted on Bella's face which was half-hidden behind me. I could literally see the beast in him slowly waking up. _

Every rational thought and caution was now completed overshadowed by his acute thirst. He was completely on the roll now. He marched straight over at me with a force that would have sent me reeling. I knew his move and managed to wobble just an inch away from his angry claws. The crash was enormous. Slabs of stone showered down from the cliff. Taking the tiniest opportunity, Victoria bounded along so quickly that I only had time to dump Bella before I was knocked skittering back against the cliff. She immediately jumped on me and grabbed me by the arms. I jabbed her away with my elbows and landed a backhand blow to her. She went reeling back with a hug of my shirt sleeves. Anger and anxiety rose in my throat. Laurent, equally strong and cunning as Victoria, was looking at Bella with a strange glint that was frightening. He didn't leap on Bella at this instance because he was afraid of Victoria's reaction. If he killed Bella, he would deprive her opportunity to take the revenge for her dear James. I calculated my stride and chose the route to take in that quarter of a second of his hesitation. I slipped up against his back and gave a sharp rap on his neck. He let out a hoarse furious shout. I jumped over him and stood between him and Bella. In feverish haste, I took Bella back in my arms.

"You are bleeding!" Bella looked at the sparkling silver trickling from my left arm where Victoria's angry nails had bitten into. Her eyes were wide with fear.

"I am alright, Carlisle would take care of that when we return back home." I said with a twinge of guilt. I was making it up, just to reassure her. Although I could dimly hear my family's thought, they were too far away to rescue us in time. We no longer had the cliff to protect our back. Victoria and Laurent would circle us in no time. I couldn't stop thinking that we were going to die, that Bella had to die. This was no dream, this was really happening to us. I felt emptiness gnawing in my stomach. It felt like a stone was lying on my chest. Everything would disappear, forever. I moved Bella to the front and buried my face against her neck. I watched her face with pained scrutiny, to fix each detail in my mind. My only hope now was that Bella's death would be a quick and painless one.

"It's time to end the game." Victoria said with a calm cruelty that made me shudder.

Bella looked at me with the same scrutiny, hot with suppressed emotion. Her look was dark with concern, with a slight tint of desperation and melancholy. She mouthed a silent "I love you always" before turning to face Victoria with a blazing stare.

"I wouldn't let you torture me to death in front of Edward. This is what you are going to do, right? I wouldn't let Edward suffer like this!" I felt her body against mine slumbering forward, as if she had been beaten. The air was immediately pungent with a smell of blood, a smell that I most loved and dreaded on earth – Bella's blood.


	12. Loss of Eternity

"_I wouldn't let you torture me to death in front of Edward. This is what you are going to do, right? I wouldn't let Edward suffer like this!" _

_I felt her body against mine slumbering forward, as if she had been beaten. The air was immediately pungent with a smell of blood, a smell that I most loved and dreaded on earth – Bella's blood._

As if time had stopped, I could sense the absolute silence hanging in the air, see the sudden rapture in Laurent's eyes to the scent of blood and taste the bitter anguish emitting from Victoria's whole body of having her perfect plan spoiled. There was not a sound, not a voice. Everything was silent and empty. Everything was there, but it was as if something had been removed, as if they no longer had the same meaning.

It all lasted an eternity, such a long time when a sharp cry pierced the deathly silence. I saw Bella pinched her lips closed as if to prevent her voice from coming out. The silence melted and time moved on. It cast me back into the world. A cold shudder arose from deep inside of me. The pain slowly slipped and burned inside of me, going all the way down to my bone and straight through me. I couldn't catch my breath and let out a hoarse crazed cry. Bella's body, which sagged against my chest, shook with tremors, in waves. There was a broken tree branch in her hand, dripping with blood. Crimson red blood started flowing out from where she stabbed herself on. She was breathing rapidly, making a painful noise. I realized that I would never again see the only one I loved. I felt nauseous, profoundly dizzy. I was trembling so hard that I couldn't stand up straight. I held her closer to me and pronounced her name.

"Bella!"

'No!" Victoria yelled in a strange, high-pitched voice, filled with anger and disappointment caused by this dramatic turn of events. Her face was contorted with hatred. She looked at Laurent who stood clutching at the tree. His hand pressed against the place I had bitten just now but his eyes were consumed by the thirst for Bella's blood. Trickles of vampire blood made its way through his finger. He was at the end of his strength or otherwise, he would have already devoured us.

I could feel that death had spread over the entire world. It was just like the fine dust, invisible and intangible, that covered everything. I could feel its weight, it saturated in the air I breathe and mingled with the colours I saw. However, the fear I felt disappeared, along with it, all my weariness, fear and anger. I had lost my eternity. She was fading away little by little with every second passed. There was nothing but darkness. My life was damned for the sin of having eternal life and should be punished forever. Life was taking its revenge, catching up on the time I had stolen to be with Bella. I just hoped that Victoria would finish me quickly to spare me this immovable suffering.

"I am so sorry, Bella." I stroked her hairs with trembling hands. Tears came brimming up out of her eyes; go running down her cheeks, along her nose and chin, dribbling off onto my shirt. She was panting and was in so much pain.

"Don't, Edward." Bella tried to soothe my pain, even in this heartbreaking heartbroken moment.

I heard the gravel crunching under the soles of Victoria's sandals. The sound was sharp, compact and threatening. She was ready to spring on us. I gathered Bella closer to me. I could feel her body shivering next to mine. I welcomed our imminent death with open arms.

**I hope I have made you feel how Edward felt in face of losing his only love. What do you think? Do you like the story? Please share your thoughts with me by clicking the review button :)**


	13. The Choice

_I heard the gravel crunching under the soles of Victoria's sandals. The sound was sharp, compact and threatening. She was ready to spring on us. I gathered Bella closer to me. I could feel her body shivering next to mine. I welcomed our imminent death with open __arms._

A dark shadow loomed over us. Bella clung to me. To die next to my only love was a good way to die. I could hear Victoria's snuffing cry drawing near. Her hands immediately fastened on my neck. She was going to take my head in a single bite. I tightened my hold against Bella as if by doing so, I could bring her along to where the eternity ended. The crash was deafening. Victoria's hands were miraculously lifted from my necks. I opened my eyes. Her shaggy back hairs lied up, as in a sudden gust of breeze. She was flung through the air and landed brokenly against the trunk. She hang limp against the tree and her face twisted with agony. Emmett was recovering his breath and eyeing Victoria with naked hatred.

"Don't ever think of harming my brother!" He stood protectively in front of me.

"On my god!" Alice whispered frantically next to me. Her eyes were riveted on the patch of red on Bella's chest.

The rest of family joined us. No one asked what happened. Alice must have already told them. If not, they could easily tell from the pungent scent of blood hanging in the air. Using the distraction, Victoria and Laurent shoot off to the forest.

"Don't you dare running away!" Jasper shouted in frustration. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper disappeared among the greenness.

Carlisle gently and carefully removed Bella from my embrace and proceeded to check on her. There was no need. I knew the answer. My spirits drooped to the lowest point. Unlike the last time when James bit her, I didn't have the choice.

"No, I don't think she could make it this time, the wound is fatal and she is losing too much blood. Edward, I am sorry." He looked at me with sad eyes. "You have to decide whether to change her destiny."

Destiny frightened me. Only he knew what a dilemma I was in. Even for myself, after an almost a century of deliberations, I was not sure of the worthiness of having an eternal existence. Of course, I would like to have Bella by my side for eternity. But what if she didn't like such existence? Could I forestall her chance and take away her soul just like that? She was now muddled by her love for me but what if she later found out that even that love could not compensate for the soulless existence. Could I be so selfish to let myself to do the ultimate act to gain time, to stay longer and to keep from parting?

"Edward, do you hate me for changing you?" Carlisle uttered.

"No, of course not. You know I don't hate you for that." I barely moved my lips.

"Then why do you think Bella will hate you for changing her? The love between you two is so much stronger. Why can't you trust yourself and Bella enough to make the decision? The circumstance is now changed. Bella is dying. She no longer has the choice to go through further human experiences that you so much wanted her to have. She only has minutes to live now."

"Edward" Bella whimpered.

"Yes, Bella?" I drew myself to her tear-soaking face. Another bout of shiver went through her fragile body but her voice came out surprisingly strong.

"Look at me, Edward, whatever it might turn out, I need you to always remember that I won't regret every single second I spent with you. I have the privilege of your love. My human existence is something I am willing to trade for that."

"Bella, I don't deserve your love." My hand moved a strange of hair away from her face which was now almost as pale as my hand. "I wish I could be you and saving you all these pains. I will give up anything for you."

"You don't have to; I just want to be with you forever. I have made this decision a long time ago. Carlisle is right; you are not taking anything away from me anymore. I am not even sacrificing my life for you now. Please, Edward!" she said with a gentle smile which I liked most.

How can I deny Bella when she gave me the sweetest smile? I could not find any fear and sadness in her eyes, only a strange joyful anticipation. I realized that Alice was right; her transformation was destined to happen the second when I decided to let myself fall in love with her. Bella accepted this fate when she accepted my love a long time ago. The killer whale and baby dolphin could not be together. They lived in different worlds. My childish reluctance of not changing her to one of us had put her in constant threats and danger. James was right; it was cruel of me to stubbornly stick to my own narrow thoughts. I was ashamed that I took so long to come to term with our destiny. Could the most beautiful thing appear in the most vile place, amidst he refuse?

Bella must have seen the changed expression on my face. "It has always been my wish to have you to change me." She stopped to catch her breath to go further. "Before you do it, I need to refresh my every memory of you so that I won't forget any one precious moment after the change. Esme told me that only the strongest memories could remain for long in vampire's mind." Her voice sounded farther away with each word.

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	14. The Sweetest Bite

**Sorry for not updating earlier. Hope you enjoy this Chapter, though it is a bit short :)**

_Bella must have seen the changed expression on my face. "It has always been my wish to have you to change me." She stopped to catch her breath to go further._

BPOV

I could feel my strength draining away. I looked at Edward's face and tried to memorize every minute folds of his lovely face. He was pale and a bit haggard. His eyes were pitching black. However, the scene was getting blurry, drifting away. Series of gray wings of various shades were enfolding me. They were getting too dark for me to see through. I was faintly aware of Edward's agonized whispers of fragment memories of our love. He was describing his puzzled anxiety of not able to hear my thoughts at the canteen, the unprecedented pull of my scent to him in the biology class, the heartbreaking fright of my being crushed by the van at the parking lot, the terrible inner struggle of confessing his love in the meadow…… I learnt so much more now that I could look at our encounters from his point of view. His memories were my memories now. I fell in love him once again, if that was possible.

Nobody told me exactly what would happen after the change. I always assumed that life would go on as before after the change. What if it was not the case? Would I forget what I have gone through during my human existence? Would I never experience again the love and emotion I felt for Edward now? Eternity would be nothing if there was no Edward. What if the change went wrong? I was suddenly seized by a fear so strong that the black wings started their attack again. How could I survive if I didn't have the memories and love for Edward with me? My whole body was trembling with pain and anxiety.

"Edward, will I forget all our memories?" My voice was so weak that Edward had to lean all the way down to my lips. I could feel his strands of hairs against my lips.

"Just the weak ones, Bella."

"Will I feel the same for you?"

"I don't know, but I have enough for both of us." He whispered into my ear.

"Edward?" I had to look into his eyes when I asked the next question.

"Yes, love?" He looked at with profound sadness. The molten blackness was fathomless. I could drown myself in it forever, but would he let me?

"Do you want me to be with you… always?" The words he so calmly said in our last meeting came back to haunt me.

"Bella, this is the only one wish I forced myself not to indulge in. You are not only my life, you are my destiny. I didn't want you to trade your human experiences for a soulless existence of eternity just because you want to be with me. There was so much you would lose and I'm not worth it." He gave me my most favourite crooked smile. "But it seems now that the cards are on my side; I could be as selfish as I want." He must have seen my anxiety in my eyes, which were becoming increasingly heavy. "Don't be afraid, Bella. I will be by your side the whole time. There's nothing you should worry about. We will be facing all the odds together."

Comforted by his assurance, my heart was lit with an inner joy. I gazed at him with all my love one last time and let go. It was strange that I should feel no pain on the brink of death. I could only feel my energy and my strength slowly taken away every minute. I no longer had the strength to breathe now. I buried my face in Edward's neck and tried to inhale the familiar scent once again. I could feel Edward trembling next to me and tried to hold me closer to him. His lips touched mine, lingered along my jaw line and lastly landed on the hollow below my ears. The first bite was light, like a caress. As his teeth sank deeper, torrents of lava start to scorch along my vessels and finally, to my heart.

The pain was excruciating, enormous and obliterating. My heart was beating too fast in my chest but I was losing control of all my senses. I couldn't make a sound, I couldn't move an inch and I couldn't see a thing. My whole vision was a sea of red flame but the world had turned rottenly cold. The sensation of burning and freezing at the same time was intolerable. It was as if my skin was an ice sheet which trapped the huge tongue of flame inside me. With nowhere to go, the flame attacked every inch of my body for an outlet. At times, everything tore apart, shattered. Then, silence. The agony blotted everything out. I felt I was a dissolving fragrance which was disappearing along with the swirling smoke. However, the last tiny sparkle would then burst into flame and the torture began again. I had lost count of how many times this process repeated when starbursts of light appeared, one after another. They were wavering at first, then the flames took root and became a slim gold bar of light, radiating with a rising warmth that was not unkind for once.

Little by little, the pain dissipated. I was floating between the heaven and the earth and for the first time, I could imagine how birds must feel. There was still nothing but darkness. I still could not move any part of my body. I still could not feel anything. It seemed that the only part that could function was my brain. Was there something wrong?

**Really want to know whether and how you would like the story to go on. Give me some ideas! Thanks!!**


	15. The Waking Up

_There was still nothing but darkness. I still could not move any part of my body. I still could not feel anything. It seemed that the only part that could function was my brain. Was there something wrong?_

I was first "woken up" from the timeless non-existence by a familiar smell of honey and wood scent. It was so pleasant that I could only relate it to one person – Edward. He was here, my heart leaped with joy. I tried to open my eyes but found myself still craved in stone, unable to move a single inch. Another trail of freesia was moving around. The scents were so strong and distinct to me that I could almost visualize their movements around me. The wood scent stayed completely still to my left while the freesia was dancing around and creating small whirlpools along its trail. There was another scent – clean and almost clinical, gathered a bit further afar. I finally realized how dumb my senses were as a human. No wonder my vampire friends often laughed at me.

"There must be something wrong. My images of Bella are getting increasingly blurred each second. I could hardly see her now." The bell-like voice was laced with agitation.

So my hearing was back. Suddenly, I was bombarded by all the noises surrounding me – the clock tickling, the leaves rustling, the sand crushing, the wind veering, and even the thunder grumbling much further away. I strived to use my newly-acquired super power and tried to differentiate the various sounds I heard. I was so engrossed in the task that my heart would have stopped, if it still bet, when Alice, the energetic trail of freesia, exclaimed in fear.

"No! I lost her altogether! "

"What?" The word vibrated throughout the house. I could now locate the exact places where Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were in the house right at this moment. They were all rushing upstairs now to the very room I was in.

"I can't understand! Everything seems to be fine and Bella should be waking up any moment now." Carlisle's gentle voice was puzzled and worried. So the clean smell belonged to Carlisle.

"No." The word was so softly spoken, even to my now sensitive ears, and yet so heart-wrenching. How can a single word contain so much desolation and pain? I wanted to break free and throw myself into his arms, to tell him that I was alright and ease his grief. I tried to shout but no word came. I tried to break through the iron cast of my own immobile body, like the tongue of fire inside me just now.

"No! Edward, you can't do it! You can't leave us. We all love you." The freesia went to the side of honey and uttered brokenly. Alice must have seen some future visions resulted from Edward's decision. What had he decided? I could smell that all the Cullens were now in the room.

"Edward, you can't go to Italy."

"What? Why would Edward go to see the Volturi for?' Carlisle exclaimed.

"He….doesn't want to live anymore."

All the scents were suddenly as static as Edward, who remained completely still by my side since my waking up. I suddenly realized that his hands were holding mine. So my senses were gradually coming back and it would be just a matter of time that I could break free the iron cage and I earnestly hope that Edward would not do anything rush before that. The conversation we had while watching "Romeo and Juliet" came out to haunt me…_"Well, I wasn't going to live without you…but I wasn't sure how to do it – I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help… so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."_… No! No! No! You can't hurt yourself just because of me, Edward! I screamed but still, no voice came out.

"Oh man, we all need you! I won't let you do this." Emmett exploded emotionally.

"Just tell us what you don't like in us, we will change, just don't leave us!" Rosalie's voice was trembled with hurt and fear.

"Let's calm down. Edward, don't do anything rush; there might be another reason for Alice not seeing Bella in her vision." Jasper, for once, was unable to defuse the tension around. I almost literally felt the anxiety hanging in the air.

Carlisle echoed Jasper's view. "Alice is not able to see things that're between human and vampire. Remember the werewolves? Alice could not see Bella when she is with the pack. We are not losing Bella. There must be some explanation for that."

The pack? When was I with the pack? Did he mean Jacob? I was momentarily distracted by what Carlisle revealed but Esme's gentle voice quickly brought me back to the present.

"Edward, please remember we all love you so much. Nothing is definite yet. Look at Bella, see how beautiful she has become, she will be one of us very soon. Carlisle is checking on her every hour and everything is fine so far. Just give Bella some more time."

All through the exchanges, I did not sense any response from Edward. His scent was craved in stone. I didn't even hear his breathing. He seemed completely detached from the outside world, apart from one link – his hands in mine. He was gently caressing my fingers one by one, as if it was the most important thing in the world. I wanted so much to tell him I would be fine, but how could I when I was not even sure of myself? Alice hadn't told me about the stages of the transformation as she was all the time trapped in the dark and couldn't remember a thing. All I knew was the excruciating pain I had to go through. After gone through that and yet, still couldn't gain my much wanted time with Edward, I felt like crying for the unfairness of it all.

"Bella?" Edward suddenly whispered in wonder.

Had I transmitted something to Edward? In awe, I found that I was gripping Edward's hands hard. My eyes opened. I was in Edward's room facing the full height window, with the forest right before me. The trees were so unbelievably and intensely green that I could almost see the colour moving minutely. The sunray colours, every one of them, are filtering through the leaves and sparkled all the way to the moss underneath. Along with the recovery of my vision, came foremost were the burning thirst and the basic instinct of self protection. Without my knowing how, I found myself bracing against the wall, posted in a crouch and let out a muffled growl. The echo of my own defensive sound brought me completely out of the trance. I noticed that seven pairs of sparkling eyes were staring at me intently. They seemed all tensed up, as if they would leap on me at any second, as if they would fight me off for any tiny slip of control. It dawned on me that I was the threat in this room. Had I become a monster?

My reflexes must have been numbed by the shock as I was suddenly enveloped in a crushing hug. Edward buried his face in my hairs and whispered my name repeatedly to my ears. All feelings of uncertainties left me. With Edward by my side, everything would be alright.

"Edward, I still can't see Bella." Alice uttered, failing miserably to cover up the fright in her voice.

"I can't feel her emotions either" Jasper said in the exactly same tone as Alice's.

My heart sank.

**Don't know whether there are friends out there who like my story, really needs tonnes of encouragement from you guys to carry on. Please review and give me some feedback. Thanks a million :)**


	16. A Curse or a Gift?

_Edward buried his face into my hairs and whispered my name repeatedly to my ears. All feelings of uncertainties left me. With Edward by my side, everything would be alright._

"_Edward, I still can't see Bella." Alice uttered, failing miserably to cover up the fright in her voice._

"_I can't feel her emotions either" Jasper said in the exactly same tone as Alice's._

_My heart sank._

I felt Edward stiffened in my arms. He slowly released me and turned to look at Alice. I could almost cut the tension in the air with a knife. The calamitous state of the situation began to penetrate into my confusing mind. I had not anticipated in my wildest dreams that I would be changed into something dangerous, something that would cause harm to my vampire family. I would be a true monster if I were to stay with them then. My heart shattered. The frozen pieces burst violently to every inch of my body, grazing and scraping all the way. The pain was no less bearable than that of the fire burning just now. I stood gazing at Edward's profile and was unable to utter a single sound to break the glacial atmosphere.

"Why? Bella looked perfectly fine to me; she may even grow out of her clumsiness now that she is one of us." Emmett countered with bolstered confidence. He came in front of me. Pushing Edward away, he enveloped me into a should-be bone crushing hug.

"You would be fine, don't worry." Emmett whispered above my head.

"She is fine, Carlisle, isn't she?" Esme tried to seek affirmation from Carlisle but he, like Edward, was looking at Alice and Jasper intently.

"It's the first time I can't feel others' emotions. It is weird, it's… just like there is a wall surrounding her and blocking our access to her." Jasper was trying to dissolve the mystery or rather, to explain the situation the best he can.

"But that wouldn't explain why I can't see her!" Alice retorted almost immediately. The room fell back into uncomfortable silence.

'Carlisle, you once said that we would bring along our strongest traits to this life when we undergo the change. For you, it's compassion, for Esme, it's her maternal love, Emmett, the strength and me, the ability to read minds. Is it…just possible that Bella has brought along a kind of trait that protects her from any possible harm or exposure, a kind of self-preservation skill…..like a kind of shield that could make herself somehow invisible to extraordinary powers, like ours?"

Edward had hardly finished the sentence when I was attacked by a miniature hurricane. Alice was jumping for joy all around me. 'It must be that! So you have special power as well. You've got me so worried, Bella." She looked into my eyes and said with a huge grim, "Welcome, Bella. We are truly a family now and we all don't have to tiptoe around you anymore. Edward can have a moment of peace now! I can't wait to let you see the wardrobe I have prepared for you!"

Apart from the unbelievably short time I was in Edward's embrace, it was the first moment since my waking up that I felt a twinge of joy. At least, there was nothing wrong with me, at least not in a negative sense. At least, I was not a monster that would pose a threat to my dearest family. I relaxed my over-taut muscles and looked at each one of my family in the room. I couldn't even know how to describe their beauty. Each of them was beautiful in their own ways. The one thing in common was their skin and complexion – so pale and glittering like a mother of pearl.

"Welcome, little sis." Rosalie said in a low voice, standing hesitantly at the entrance of the room. She smelled of blossoms and looked like a Greek goddess all the more to me. I was touched by her hesitant display of affection and would have run across the room and give her a hug if I had not more important things in my mind.

My eyes were inevitably drawn back to the reason of my very existence – Edward. His hairs, like bronze silk and shining with a soft glow, seemed to have a life of their own. They were all framing around his head, delicately, messily and yet, harmoniously. His features were more angular and perfect than his image I found in my now blurred memory. Every line of him was so defined and yet, so sleek. Probably no one could ever understand why such a perfect vampire was mine to keep.

"Edward." I sighed. Was this singing voice mine? It was so delightfully soft and mellow. I was momentarily distracted by my own voice that I failed to immediately register that Edward had not responded to me. His eyes were screwed on Carlisle, who was now looking out of the window, his eyebrows knitted together in a frown, lost in his own thoughts.

"Carlisle, what's it?" Edward asked. It seemed like a life time before Carlisle turned back to the room and replied.

"I don't think the "shield" theory is the answer. Alice, Jasper and Edward, apart from Bella, your powers are still working on all of us, right?'

They nodded slowly, unsure of what this would lead to.

"Edward, you go to Bella's side and take her hand." Carlisle instructed. Edward was on the verge to question the move but he stopped when he saw the seriousness on Carlisle's face. He walked toward me. Instead of holding my hands as asked, he once again buried his head into my hairs and inhaled deeply.

"I won't let anything happen to you." The so softly spoken words were meant for my ears only. I returned the hug, with my eyes focused on Carlisle.

"I have a theory. I think Bella's gift is much more powerful than a shield, if she ever has one with her." Carlisle announced quietly.

**A horrible cliffie? Review = Update :)**


	17. The Power

"_I have a theory. I think Bella's gift is much more powerful than a shield, if she ever has one with her." Carlisle announced quietly._

'What?" The word was exclaimed by the Cullens in unison once again.

"Edward, do you hear my thoughts?" He continued after a pause.

"No…… I can't hear any thought of any one of you!" His eyes were shaken and puzzled when he looked at Carlisle.

Carlisle nodded his head in satisfaction. "You didn't respond to my thoughts when Bella woke up. I first assumed that maybe you were so engrossed in Bella's predicaments that you simply cut out the mumbles around. However, when Emmett pushed you away from Bella just now, you started to be aware of my thoughts again. It was only then that I wondered there might be another explanation and started to put the pieces together. Bella?"

"Yes?" All the eyes in the room were now focused on me.

"I think you have the power to incapacitate any extraordinary powers. Not only are you immune to any extraordinary powers, whoever gets in physical touch with you would have their powers…. shall we say temporarily disabled as well. You could say it's an extreme manifestation of a self-preservation trait."

"Are you sure?" I could hardly believe that I could possess such amazing power but my question was quickly drowned by the jolly voices around.

"Wow! That's cool, man!"

"So Bella is fine after all then."

"That's an awesome power!"

"Gosh! That's wonderful! Anytime I want to have a peace of mind, I could be with Bella then. No vision interrupting my shopping fun! What a thought!" Alice was dancing and swirling around us. Jasper was looking anxiously between Alice and me and seemed to be struggling as to whether he would step between us. He was obviously still wary of me.

I darted a look at Edward, who remained silent beside me. Alice once again distracted me by waving her little hands in front of my face.

"Do you like your outfit? I bought it specifically for you." Alice's voice was dripping with excitement and sweetness.

Although I could now clearly every minute movement around me, I was still taken aback by the swiftness of Alice producing a full-size mirror in front of me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The transformation was miraculous. Everything was as same as and yet so different from what I had been. My body was still of average size and height but all the curves were more prominent and alluring. The dress I was wearing was of midnight blue. It had a scoop neckline with the velvet top wrapped tightly around my bodice. The skirt was made of a much lighter and equally soft material, something like silk, which flew gently around my mid-calf. Alice even painted my toes in light silver colour. Finally, I looked at my own face. All the features were so familiar and yet so strange. My hairs were still auburn brown but they now shined and moved like the ocean waves. My month looked a bit fuller and redder but the small indented scare was still here. My eyes were still of almond shape but the colour was now pitch dark instead of dull chocolate. For once, I was proud of my own appearance reflected in the mirror. My hand involuntarily went up to touch my face. My skin was as pale and soft as snow flakes but as hard and cold as steel. There was nothing that I could detect from the reflection that I was in any way different from the one standing next to me. I became the world's most dangerous predator.

"Do you like it?" My only reason for accepting eternal life is to be with Edward forever, nothing more and nothing less. I wouldn't want any extraordinary power if it was to mean Edward loved me less.

'No." Edward looked at me with twinkles in his eyes. His hands drew up to touch my cheek. "I miss the blushes."

**AN: Really sorry about the short chapter but I hope you like Bella's power. Coming twist – The Cullens will have some visitors – Tanya or the Volturi? Please tell me your views. **


	18. Important Note

**Important Notice**

Thank you so much for those who love this story and put it on their alert lists. In particular, I have to express my sincere gratitude to those who so kindly dropped me some words of encouragement. However, given the low response I have received, I have to draw the conclusion that my work is not much appreciated and thus, much I don't want to, I have to end the story right here for now. Instead of just leaving the story as it is, I think it's just courteous to tell my friends here of the decision. I love you all and hope to see you very soon.

Queenie


	19. Instinct

**The chapter is dedicated to all those who love this story in particular - NeonLoveBaby, PrincessJess94, nature love 95, LeapforLove, Miss 'Hannah-Marie Hale' Bookworm, animal8, Music of the wind, warnest-01, Satan Little Princess and peacelovextwilight30. With all your encouragement, the story goes on :) Here we go.**

"_Do you like it?" My only reason for accepting eternal life is to be with Edward forever, nothing more and nothing less. I wouldn't want any extraordinary power if it was to mean Edward loved me less._

'_No." Edward looked at me with twinkles in his eyes. His hands drew up to touch my cheek. "I miss the blushes."_

The mention of something related to blood jogged my awareness of the scorching thirst which was now racing fierily along my throat and down to my every fingertip. A film of hazy red suddenly covered everything I saw, everything I smelled and everything thought I had. There was only one thing in my mind now – the one thing that would grant me relief from this scalding feeling inside my body. I let out a snarl and smelled the air. My eyes locked at the window at the far end of Edward's room. The breeze had brought along a smell that was so potent, so warm and mouthwatering. I could almost literally see my prey by the waterside deep inside the forest. Without a thought, I jumped outside to the nearest tree and bounced on into the forest in search of the thing that could quench my thirst and sate the heat.

"Go after her, Edward!" The distant shout from Carlisle hardly registered in my mind before the raging creature inside me drove me further into the wood.

I darted through the trees, jumping and hopping which now came so easy to me as though I had done it everyday of my life. The baking thirst governed my every action. The smell was getting stronger and more piercing with every jump I took. I ghosted down deeper into the forest, to the narrow stream next to the meadow. I was dimly aware that someone was chasing after me as I raced along in the wood. I was almost within reach of the creature when I heard a human shout from the nearby –

"Don't come near me! Help!" it was a woman's voice.

"You could shout as loud as you can but no one would come to your rescue. You are mine." The words were followed by crude laughs, muffled screams, a low thud and silence.

I halted in mid of my ride. The smell which accompanied the laughs was so much more delicious and attractive than the one from the waterside. I decided to change my course.

"No!" The voice was just a meter behind me. I had to be quick if I wanted to get to my new prey first.

It only took two seconds for me to arrive at the scene. In front of me, there was a woman lying unconscious and a man crawling all over her. He was so intent in his own pursue that he was not even aware of my presence. The human smell was now so strong that it made my venom flowing freely in my mouth. The film of hazy red changed into a crimson one. I didn't have to think about what I should do. It was all in my blood. I changed myself in a crouch position, ready to pounce on the back of the man and bite on his part where the warmth pulsed most strongly – his neck.

"Stop, Bella, you wouldn't want to do it." A hand gently touched my arm. I looked back and saw the face that I couldn't fail to recognize even through the red haze – my Edward's. He was looking at me so lovingly and yet, warily. The desire to kill and drink the blood was so hard to ignore. My eyes darted between the one I hated to disappoint and the one I loved to devour. Startled by Edward's voice, the man finally registered that he was now not alone. I could see the fear started to invade in his eyes - two human-like creatures with sparkling skin were standing just a meter across. His face looked familiar. My willpower collapsed when I finally realized that he was one of the guys who attacked me in Port Angeles. I leaped forward, with every intent to eliminate this danger from the earth for good, but Edward's hold on my arm was unbreakable.

"He was one of the guys at Port Angeles and he is now assaulting another woman. I should get rid of him from the face of the earth, for the safety of all human kind." I tired to convince Edward to let go of me. I would be doing nothing wrong to end his life, right now and here. What's more, the blood in this loathsome human was dancing and pulling me irresistibly towards it.

"No, Bella, you cannot. Look at me." Even with my burning thirst and raging emotions, I couldn't deny him when he spoke to me in this ever gentle voice. I unwillingly turned my head and looked at his eyes. His eyes were a fathomless black and the regret shown in them was heartbreaking. I would let everything go if it could relieve his pain. The crimson film slowly receded to a watery red one.

"However deserved this guy to be subject to death penalty, you will regret for the rest of your existence if you kill him and drink his blood now. Remember the wild days I talked about when I left Carlisle? Although I only killed those who didn't deserve to live on this earth, the deaths were on my conscience. The guilt and regret for I had done would be with me always. Your new life has just started and I don't want you to live like that. Trust me, Bella, let's hunt somewhere else." A part of me screamed for the sheer wastefulness of letting the rogue go while the other part pondered on how my killing would further dampen down Edward's negative outlook for life, existence to be exact. He would certainly condemn himself further if my forever existence was anything other than perfect. There is no question which side will win when Edward was on the scale. The desire to love outweighed the obsession to kill.

"What should we do about him then? We can't just let him go." I looked at the man in distaste.

"He had seen us and there was no way we could let him go in peace." Edward whispered into my ears about the plan.

"No, you do it, I don't think I have enough constraints to be near him and not kill him. He still looks too delicious to me." I hated to admit that there was a part of this low life that I found appealing.

"OK, my turn then!" In a split of second, Edward's expression changed. He walked menacingly to the man who was now sprawling against the tree. His eyes were empty and his body was slightly crouched forward. An angry snarl came out from his month. His fists pouched out deep inside the tree that the man was leaning against, essentially trapped the man from both sides. The man ducked under, tripped over the unconscious woman and staggered away into the wood. With twinkling eyes, Edward dashed after him after a few seconds. After a series of shrieks and squalls, Edward came out from the wood. The clothes in his hands were tattered and torn.

"Now, he should have a taste of the fear and hopelessness he had previously evoked in those unfortunate women. I doubt if his mind would ever be in one piece again. Nobody will believe him if he tells anyone about the sparkling monsters in the wood." Edward chuckled when he came back to my side. His hairs shone and his skin sparkled in the sunlight which penetrated through the canopy above. His eyes were grinning with laughter. He might be the world's most dangerous predator but to me, he was a creature from heaven.

"Let's go to the waterside before you change your mind about the poor lady lying here, shall we?" Edward held out his hand, beaming at me with undisguised affection.

"We'd better be." I smiled into his eyes and took his hands. The world couldn't be more perfect.

**Of course, we have no perfect world. Something is coming up. You know what to do – review, review, review……**


	20. Dilemma

"_Let's go to the waterside before you change your mind about the poor lady lying here, shall we?" Edward held out his hand, beaming at me with undisguised affection._

"_We'd better be." I smiled into his eyes and took his hands. The world couldn't be more perfect._

**EPOV**

I would never grow tired of watching my sweet angel. I nearly lost her for good. Bella had become so breathtakingly beautiful and graceful. She was still clumsy by vampire's standard but at least, I didn't have to worry about her getting hurt by the constant trips and bumps. My blood was still running high after watching her wrestling with that lion alone. The desire to protect her from any possible harm was still so overwhelming. It had been so long since I took up the role of being her guardian angel that I needed more time to get used to the idea that she was now strong enough to fend for herself. Being so self-reliant, I doubted Bella would appreciate my "help" where it was not wanted. She almost finished up with the lion now. The hem of her dress was torn and ruffled. It became as short as a ballet dress. Alice would be screaming out loud when she saw her hard work had gone down the drain.

_Flashback_

"_What are you doing, Alice?" She was holding a piece of saffron-like material in her hand. The cloth was of mid-night blue overlaid with strands of silver but it was so long that it almost blanketed her whole tiny body._

"_Look, Edward! I finally found this perfect fabric. This is the exact colour that I have been searching for. I spent two days in Canada to find it. With a velvet top, it would look perfect on Bella. She would be overjoyed….. when she wakes up." Alice carefully wrapped the cloth around Bella's waist and looked at me expectantly. Her eyes were so full of excitement that I would hate to disappoint her in normal days. However, I was in no mood to be diplomatic._

"_Wouldn't you think this is a waste of time? Bella is perfect as she is. We don't even know when she would be waking up. Your visions on her are getting weaker every minute."_

"_Yes, they still are… but I don't want to think about it as anything other than my power getting weird." Alice went to the window side and looked out to the forest. Her voice came down to hushed whispers. _

"_Edward, you have to understand. I love Bella too. Making this welcome costume for her is my way to express my love for her. Why do I always buying or making clothes for all of you? That's because I love you all so very much and I don't know other ways of expressing my love. This is the one thing that I am good at."_

_I let go of Bella's hand and came to her side._

"_Of course we know. Sorry for my outburst just now. I just had too many things in my mind. You have to know that it's because of all of your support that I am still hanging on. I am sorry."_

_Alice turned and gave me a much needed hug. She went to Bella's side and took up the cloth._

"_Bella, how would you like the dress? I think a classic one should go well with this cloth." She danced out with her mind full of different designs of princess style._

_Flashback ends_

"Look, Alice will kill me when she sees what I have done to her dress." Bella came in front of me and frowned down to her dress, which was dotted with patches of lion's hairs.

"No, she wouldn't mind. It gives her a perfect excuse to drag you out onto a shopping expedition."

"I wish I could have your grace. There's not a tiny spot of dirt on your outfit." Bella bit her lower lip. She did it every time when she thought she was not good enough. She was still the Bella I loved.

"Bella, come here." I hold out my hands and pulled her into my embrace. I buried my head in her hairs. She still smelled the same – floral with a hint of strawberry. It reminded me of the times when I didn't know whether I could have the chance to smell this scent again. I tightened my hold and felt for the first time that Bella was finally safe and good in my arms.

"Edward? What's wrong?" Bella put both hands on my face and turned me to her. Her eyes were full of concern.

"I can't believe that you are truly good and safe in my arms." I ran my hands and feel the silky texture of her hair. Unable to contain myself further, I lowered my head and kiss her lips. They were still as soft and sweet as ever. The only difference was that they were not stingingly warm now, nor with them came the ever-appealing smell of blood. Cleared with the constant bickering with the raging thirst for her blood and the ever holding-in of my strength and emotions for her physical safety, I gave free rein to my desire to absorb every essence of her. I crushed her against the tree and deepened the kiss. My breath quickened, not least because I needed any air, I just couldn't get enough of her scent, her taste and her everything. Bella's response was heartwarming. She grew all soft and her skinny frame was snuggling against me so alluringly. We were two perfect dancers. I finally found my missing piece after a century's search and the feeling of being whole again was exhilarating. My self-control was slipping from my grasp and the urge to become one with Bella was almost too painful to deny. She had already sacrificed so much for me. The least I could do was to make her existence from now on to be as perfect as possible. With a low growl rumbled from the back of my throat, I gently eased myself from the embrace and reached for the velvet box in my pocket.

"You were holding up for me before!" Bella accused in a playful way. It was endearing to see how the excitement of new discoveries lightened up her eyes and made her face glow with vitality and warmth. Her eagerness was almost tangible in the air for me to touch.

"Oh! Alice had been here before; I could still smell her scent. Isn't it amazing? There is so much for me to learn and see." Distracted, Bella continued to mumble on her new discoveries and went tracking Alice's scent along the rough mountain side.

Yes, there were so many things that Bella should explore and experience before settling down. It would be unfair for me to ask Bella to decide on something that would affect her existence in the hundred years to come at this juncture. Much as I wanted to, I was resigned to postpone my ultimate ambition. I thrust the box back to where it had been staying since Bella was brought back to our house.

"Hey Bella, I think we better go back home now. Esme would be worried sick about how you are managing." I ran after her. She was so engrossed in exercising her new strength that she must have overlooked that we were about to cross the border to Canada.

'Race you back!" Bella's bell-like voice came from the wood ahead. This carefree Bella was enchanting. I let her go several miles ahead before running back to the house. She was almost there when I caught her and pulled her from behind.

"Let's have a moment alone before going back." I whispered into her hairs.

"No, you don't have the chance." I should have known that Alice would gatecrash our little world the moment we were back within the ten miles radius of the house.

"Bella will be with me for the remainder of the day. You have someone to entertain when you are back."

"Who is it?" We seldom have visitors in this time of the year.

"Tanya and a friend of her called Jane." Alice said with the slightest glimmer of unease.

**There is still not much development in this chapter but I wanted to write some more on Edward and Bella. They deserved it after going through so much pain. Don't you agree :) Do you find Edward sweet? Review, review and review!**


	21. Test Part I

"_Bella will be with me for the remainder of the day. You have someone to entertain when you are back."_

"_Who is it?" We seldom have visitors in this time of the year._

"_Tanya and a friend of her called Jane." Alice said with the slightest glimmer of unease._

**BPOV**

"Who is Tanya?" I felt Edward stiffen beside me.

"Tanya has been in love with Edward for….." Alice had hardly started before Edward interrupted.

"Love is too strong a word. I doubt Tanya loves anyone other than herself." Edward's eyes, for once, were not focused on us and his face had a far away one.

"OK! Tanya likes Edward for decades, ever since they met some fifty years ago. She would visit us once in a while, in the hope that Edward would change his mind about her." Alice continued.

"What is she like? Does she have any special ability?" The words just went out of my mouth. Edward had never talked to me about this Tanya nor her love for him. Was the matter too trivial to be brought out? Or there were other reasons for not mentioning it? The ugly creature of jealousy inside me started to roar.

"Straightly speaking, she doesn't have any special power but she could be very convincing when she set a mind to it; even Edward wouldn't be able to hear her true thoughts when she throws herself into the role she is playing. She is quite manipulative at times and so, you'd better not listen to anything she said." Although Alice was addressing to me, her mind was definitely not on me. She was glancing at Edward all the time and obviously communicating nonverbally with Edward. It was so frustrating that I almost let out a low growl. Instead, I remembered my newly acquired ability and touched both of them with a big grin – they were now forced to communicate verbally. Knowing my intention, Edward gave me an apologetic smile and held me against him.

"You said Jane was here?" Edward looked at Alice. Although I would like to pursue further on the subject of Tanya, I was also curious to know more on this Jane who seemed to cast quite an effect on the Cullen family.

"Yes, you know her? Carlisle was quite cautious around her."

"Jane works for the Volturi. She is one of the guards of Aro – one of the trios in the picture."

"I remember but I didn't know much about Carlisle's former lifestyle, only those he was willing to tell us. You actually met her?" Alice pondered.

"I met her, and her twin, some seventy years ago when I accompanied Carlisle to Italy. While Carlisle was away with Aro, I was left with his guards. Each of them is special, just like us. Jane can create extreme pain in your mind while her twin, Alec, could create emotions of the opposite end – extreme gaiety. They help Aro, Marcus and Caius to maintain order and peace in the vampire's world, so to speak. Aro invited me to stay with him when he knew about my ability. I refused partly because I didn't feel comfortable around them and partly because Carlisle asked me not to, of course in a way only I could hear. Aro took my refusal gracefully and said he hoped my answer would be different next time we meet. Afterwards, apart from remarking that we'd better off if we stayed clear from the Volturi, Carlisle didn't further elaborate on the issue. Now, Jane came here all the way from Italy, something drastic must have happened." While Edward supplemented matter-of-factly, his hands tightened against my shoulder. Both Alice and I felt the tension emitted from Edward's stillness.

"We will soon find out what it is. We are almost home now. Before I went out, Carlisle advised us not to let Jane and Tanya know about Bella's ability, nor to stay too close to Bella in case Tanya or Jane would detect changes in our abilities." Our run slowed to a halt in front of the house.

"Why?" I wouldn't want to be treated differently, not anymore.

"Carlisle just said it might complicate the situation further." Alice replied lamely.

"I don't understand…." I tried to make sense of what was happening. The door opened at this moment and I was stunned into silence by the beauty standing in front of us.

If Rosalie was the embodiment of female perfection, the beauty in front of me was the personification of calm and serenity. Her straight bronze hairs were floating down to her waist, with a tint of strawberry pink. Her large amber eyes were settled perfectly on her priceless porcelain skin. Her smiling month was of the most natural pink. Noting her simple outfit which further brought out the elegance and flawlessness of her body, I was made extremely conscious of my now grubby and dingy attire. Next to her, I became the plain Jane again. Even after the change, I could hardly stand out among my peers.

"Are you alright?" Edward looked at me in concern.

"You must be Bella! I have been waiting here for ages to meet you. I am Tanya, a friend of..er…the Cullen family." She held out her hands and looked at me guilelessly. As expected, I couldn't find any fault in this musical voice of her.

"Hi, I am Bella." I must have been standing here and gasping like a goldfish. How embarrassing! I shook her hands belatedly.

"So you all meet." Carlisle was standing on the foyer of the second floor. "Edward and Alice, I need you two to come up to my study room to meet a friend of mine. Esme, maybe you could give a short tour to Tanya to our house and surroundings." While softly spoken, the authority accompanied the words was unmistakable.

"I'll with you as soon as I can. Wait for me in my room." After pecking a kiss on my lips, Edward ran up to join Carlisle.

"Tanya, let me show you our house. This one is much different from our last one in London." Esme escorted Tanya further into the house the instance the door of the study room was closed.

"Join us for the hunt!" Emmett threw out the invitation.

"I just did it with Edward; I don't have your voracious appetite. You three go and enjoy." I kindly declined the invitation. Having so much on my mind, I needed some time on my own to walk things through. After much fretting and grumblings about my being left alone, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper went out.

I slowly walked up to Edward's room. The house was truly a beautiful one. With the new eyesight, I could see the light reflected on the glass panels was casting different patterns with its rainbow colours onto the wall, the furniture and the grand piano, creating a sense of vitality and sprightliness in the house. There was no photo on the wall, just paintings which illustrated their encounters. Being stayed in the same shape forever, there was of course no need for photos to capture their spent youth.

Edward's room was as spacious and comfortable as I recalled. The room, however, had acquired a dusted look, as if it had not been touched for some time. Yes, Edward had gone away for some months but in my dimly memory, I couldn't t figure out how long it was. My memories, my former life, had started to fade away. In panic, I sat down on the coach and tried to retain them as much as possible. Patches of memories came up - Renee's smiling face when I first joined the dancing class, Charlie's livid face when Renee was complaining about his frequent absence and Renee's teary face afterwards, Charlie's stoic face when Renee filed for the divorce, Renee's ironic smile when she lost her phone again, Charlie's seeming carefree expression when he passed me the spray and lastly, Charlie's face lined with worries with eyes full of unspoken love and sympathy – my last glimpse of him when he left the hospital.

It was dark outside when I looked up again. Both of them had given me so much love in their own way. Charlie must have been worried sick about my disappearance. Being a Police Chief, he would not give up looking for his only daughter. He didn't know that I was now perfectly content and lively as ever and there was no reason for him to worry about me. I could feel his disappointment and agony at the end of each day of futile search. The pain grew in me until I couldn't contain it inside me. I kneeled down on the floor and hugged myself to keep myself from mourning aloud.

"Oh! I am sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." A musical voice disrupted the almost perfect silence of the room.

"Tanya?" I turned around and saw the most unexpected guest who was hovering at the door.

"I didn't know that you were…contemplating or otherwise, I wouldn't dream to come here at this time. I am so sorry. I thought, now that you are with Edward, I might take some time to get to know you more as we are bound to meet now and then in the years to come. " Tanya was apologizing profusely, unsure whether she was welcome under the circumstance.

"It's alright; I just need some time to take all these in. Do come in!" I stood up awkwardly and tried to show some hospitality.

"Thanks." She walked and sat on the coach elegantly. "So, Edward has not thrown away this coach despite his grumbling about the colour. That's so sweet of him, always trying not to hurt anyone's feelings." Her face took on a mesmerizing and adoring expression before suddenly, replaced by a penitent look.

"That's very rude of me to talk about Edward. We'd better focus on ourselves. I heard from Esme that you are a new born. You must be overwhelmed by all the changes – the new eyesight, the new strength and the whole new interpretation of life. I remember only dimly when I was first transformed; I missed my parents so desperately. I hope you did have a chance to say goodbye to them."

"No, the change came suddenly and I did not have a chance to tidy up my previous life, so to speak." I tried to keep the desolation from my voice. There was no turning back for me. If I were to see Charlie and Renee again, they would have noticed the changes in me. By exposing the secrets of the vampire's world, I would have put them in an irrevocably dangerous position, as proven by my own fate.

"You must have missed your parents a lot then." Tanya's kind words penetrated into my somber thoughts. Thinking about the hurt that I had inflicted on Charles and Renee made me want to cry out to ease the pain which had became a permanent part of the new me. I doubt if I would forgive myself ever for my selfish act. To love Edward was to deny their admittance to my life from now on.

"While you could not see them in person, maybe you could just steal a look at them and drop them a few words, a letter maybe, so that they know you are safe and happy and that they don't need to worry about your safety." Tanya put a comforting hand on my shoulder and proffered tentatively.

"That's a great idea! Thank you, Tanya, I shall have a word with Edward when he returns." I said with gratitude.

"Do you think Edward might get it wrong if you discuss with him on this?" Tanya said after a pause.

"What do you mean?"

"You know Edward as well as I do. Even after a century, he is still unable to appreciate the beauty of this everlasting existence. He thinks of himself as a monster and I bet, he is now blaming himself to make you subject to this futile and meaningless form of life. If he knows you do have some unfinished wishes, he may get the wrong message and think that you are in fact regretting to sacrifice your human life for his love. I know it's absurd for him not to believe in his own worth and not to know how precious his love is to us, but I wouldn't risk it if I were you. Being alone for so long, I do hope Edward will find his own happiness in you. Please don't destroy what you two have now."

What Tanya said rendered me speechless. It was really selfish of me to brood over my own losses and not to appreciate the internal struggle Edward must have been going through now.

"Oh! Maybe you could go out and drop your parents a letter now. There might be still some time before their discussion would be over. You could be back within an hour. If by any chance Edward comes back, I could always say you went out to join Emmett. What do you say? Is it worth a try?" Tanya finished excitedly.

"Should I?" Would Edward understand if he discovered it afterwards? Was our love too shaky to be tested upon?

"You are right, it is a stupid idea. There shouldn't be any secrets between lovers. The results could be disastrous; especially it's Edward we are talking about. What was I thinking? I am so sorry, Bella, it's just that Jane once mentioned something about escorting the Cullens to Italy. I thought there night not be time for you to say goodbyes to your beloved if the journey starts tomorrow." Tanya said remorsefully.

"We may leave tomorrow?" I didn't expect leaving Forks so soon. There was no time; I needed to see Charlie one last time before we left.

"Tanya, I need to see my father now. If Edward comes back, would you explain it to him?" I begged Tanya's help in earnest.

"Of course I will, you'd better hurry, maybe he would be still in Carlisle's room when you come back." Tanya motioned me to the opening window. Grasping a pen and a paper, I flew out to the forest.

**EPOV**

I walked out of Carlisle's study room and still pondered on what had happened. There were too much to take in. Whatever tomorrow would hold for all of us, I needed to see Bella in the first instance. She must have felt lonely and sad about leaving Charlie without a word. We didn't even have a chance to talk. My feet raced up to the third floor. Instead of Bella, I found Tanya standing at my door.

"Where is Bella?"

"I am so sorry, Edward." Tanya was looking at in compassion. "I tried, but I was not able to keep her from leaving. She didn't even wait for your return."

_**Tanya is definitely up to something. Will Edward and Bella fall into the trap? Review = Update :)**_

_**PS: I am sorry for the slow update and many thanks for your continuous support to my story. **_


	22. Test Part II

"_Where is Bella?"_

"_I am so sorry, Edward." Tanya was looking at me in compassion. "I tried, but I was not able to keep her from leaving. She didn't even wait for your return."_

**EPOV  
**

"What?" I looked at Tanya blankly.

"She is gone. She just couldn't bear it any longer."

My world came to a standstill and my mind tried to absorb the news that Bella, my anchor of life, was gone. While the love of my family kept me alive, Bella's existence made me feel alive. At the start of each day, I knew what I had to do – to love, to protect, to cherish the only thing that mattered to me. The world outside went back to the one before Bella arrived – a vast and exquisite oil painting in which sunlight was without warmth, flowers were without fragrance, breezes were without movement and people were without breath. Everything returned to static and sterile. I once had the taste of heaven, the fire of hell was now impossible to endure. How could I go on without her? The fire was already licking my every inch of flesh, leaving invisible scares and burns along. The four walls around me began to breathe like a lung. I felt it then, creeping up the side of my calves and into my gut, the onslaught, the grief coming. Horror on Earth, no matter what you were, was real and it was everyday. It was like a flower or like the sun, it could not be contained. My worst fear had come true, with a force and a speed that I had never anticipated. I breathed in, taking a large gulp of the unnecessary air to try to stop myself from breaking into pieces. I looked at my hands which I found were gripping the rails so hard that the veins were all standing out. The broken metal which should have cut deep into my palms was molding itself against my hands. My pair of hands was as strong as ever. No matter how excruciating the pain was, it could not cause the slightest dent to my immorality. With a vengeance, I broke everything in my room, started with the CDs on the racks. Each one I broke, I lost the smallest drop of pain, as if the loss of one precious thing was each a tiny gesture of atonement for the irrevocable mistake I had made.

**Tanya's POV (surprise!?)**

He was racing up the stairs, with a smile that I had not ever seen before – his eyes twinkling with life and hope and his body radiating with energy and resplendence. Over the past fifty years, my heart went for this bronze hairs monster. How much I had sacrificed in exchange for a flimsy hope of his reciprocating my feelings. I gave up my exuberance lifestyle whenever he was nearby in order to show him how amicable we could be. I kept constant contact with Esme so as to know his every move. I even gave up human blood for him in the hope that one day this exquisitely perfect creature and I could be together. He was almost here. As expected, the smile disappeared at the second he saw me standing at the door. Although I had prepared myself for this moment, I was overwhelmed by the anguish bursting through my body. After all the things I have done for him; I could not believe I deserved the frosty reception I had just received. It's all Bella's fault. All these years, I had no doubt that I could win over Edward. After all, I had all the time on my side. The intrusion of this plain Jane Bella upset my whole plan. She didn't even belong to our world. The injustice of this twist of fate strengthened my resolve to win him over. I schooled my thoughts purposely and projected a dejected and mourning expression onto my perfect face.

"Where's Bella?" His voice tinted with worries.

I went on with the well thought out speech I had prepared for the occasion.

"I am so sorry, Edward. I tried, but I was not able to keep her from leaving. She didn't even wait for your return."

"What?"

"She is gone. She just couldn't bear it any longer."

He was looking at me blankly, as if he had been transported to another planet. In order not to let him hear my innermost thoughts, I focused on the slightly sunken carpet near the leg of the coach and continued my carefully constructed script.

"When I found her, she was on the verge of leaving. She said ….. she was regretting every minute of her present existence. Regrets and anguish just seeped in the moment you left her. She just could not stay in the same house with our kind and had to leave for a while. I tried to reassure her that once you were back, everything would be fine. She refused to listen and came up with some rubbish, saying that she didn't even know whether your company was what she wanted anymore."

I deliberately spoke with a tiny wobble and tempered my speech with suitable hems and haws. I outwardly continued to project the sympathetic thoughts while secretly congratulated myself on the well-delivered performance. I awaited his exposure of emotion and silently rehearsed the comforting words that would finally draw him to my side once again.

I heard no response. I dared a look at Edward and found him standing right in front of the glass opening. His whole body was stiff as a board, like a bow so highly strung that the hold would break in any second. The moon shone on his face, which was devoid of any emotion. His eyes were still fathomless as before but I couldn't find his soul in them.

"Edward? Are you all right?"

He didn't move an inch. With his skin sparkling dimly under the moonlight, he could be just a statue from Greek masterpieces. I was genuinely concerned now. It was the first time in my life that I saw anyone so…. lifeless. Such void of emotion was not even on Irina's face when Laurent went away to join Victoria again. There was simply nothing inside him. I was about to call Esme and Carlisle when out of the blue, he started to destroy everything in the room. He slammed the CDs from the racks row by row, as if to make sure that each and every thing was broken before he went on with the next.

After destroying all his precious CDs, he went on to pull out the big flat screen TV from the wall. It was too much. The Edward I knew was always so gentle and polished. These frenzied and berserk bursts of anger were directed toward himself. He was trying to destroy everything he had. Standing in front of me was a demented and broken man on the verge of total collapse. Never in my wildness dream did I think such profound and boundless love could exist in our world. How could he love her so much? I had underestimated the bondage between them and had inadvertently caused to my beloved man a damage which was far greater than I had intended. The only thing I could do is to stop the bleeding. I tired to grasp him from behind but he was too strong for me. I was bounced back against the CD racks and floundered further against the wall behind. Fortunately, Carlisle came into rescue. He violently slapped on the side of Edward's head, which stunned and stupefied him.

"Calm down, Edward." Carlisle got hold of Edward's shoulder and tried to shake some sense into him, who was looking around his own room with dawning recognition.

"What happened?" Carlisle looked deeply into Edward's eyes and gently probed for an answer. Other Cullens were all hovering at the door with worry.

"It was my fault." Looking at the dejected figure in front of me, I confessed.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Hope you like it. Do you think Bella's love is strong enough for both overcome Edward's insecurities? Please review and tell me what you think **


	23. The End and The Beginning

**A/N: This is the last episode and sorry for keeping you all waiting for so long. Apart from having a writer block on this story, I have also started a new story, a completely different one from this (a all human one !) and hence, the slow update. My apology and sincere thanks for all the reviews and support.**

_Previously on My New Moon_

_"What happened?" Carlisle looked deeply into Edward's eyes and gently probed for an answer. Other Cullens were all hovering at the door with worry._

_"It was my fault." Looking at the dejected figure in front of me, I confessed._

BPOV

This had to be fast. I raced through the forest which was clearer to me than daylight. This would be my last chance to say goodbye to my human life. I stopped at the trail opposite my house where Edward used to wait for Charlie to sleep before coming to my room. The house was in dark. The curtains were closed and all light was out. Yet, I could hear the TV rumbling inside and the occasional crushing sound of the beer can. Charlie was still awake. I tried to cross the road but found myself engulfed in the most delicious smell of human blood. The red haze of thirst started to conquer my eyesight again. I should have waited for Edward before coming here. I grasped the tree at the side to assemble some form of control over my impulses. The tree broke under my hand. The breaking sound of it reminded me that I was yet to have a kind of control that I could see Charlie whilst keeping him alive. I was so near and yet so far. Now I knew what the Cullens had been enduring everyday in order to follow through their way of living. How could Edward be so near to me and yet still had every control of his thirst if my blood was his _**la tua cantante**_? How could he resist such a siren call every time he came near me? I finally realized that he had to be as in love with me as I was with him; his love as strong as mine for him, if not more.

"What a stupid lamb." I mocked myself for my blindness. Everything he did was for me. How could I ever doubt his love. Giving up my human life, my proof of my love, was nothing when compared with what he did and suffered to keep me alive. My human life was indeed a small price to pay for the eternity of his love.

I was distracted by a sudden movement in the cottage. As if he knew, Charlie peered out from the curtain and looked at the direction where I was standing. I hide behind a tree although I knew he couldn't possibly see me in the dark with the poor human eyesight. What should I do now? I looked down and found the paper and pen which had fallen out of my hand when the thirst took me. It was thoughtful of Tanya to ask me to bring them along. I sat down against the tree and started writing my letter of farewell to my once dearest on earth.

_**Dear Charlie,**_

_**I am sorry that I have to leave without saying a proper goodbye. You won't be seeing me but you have to know that I am happy and that I am leading a life that I have been yearning for. Don't try to find me, it will only drive me further away from you. I will be trying to stay in touch and someday, we may be able to meet. Tell Renee that I love her and will always do. I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier - I love you.**_

_**Yours forever,**_

_**Bella**_

I was wandering whether I should take the risk of going near to the house to deliver the letter on the steps when my senses were assaulted by an awful smell of living creature. My instinct took over immediately. I raised myself up against the tree and let out a growl to the direction where the smell came from.

"Is that really you, Bella?" a familiar voice came out from the brushwood.

"Oh! It's you, Jacob." Surprised, I habitually put my hand on my chest where my heart used to beat. There was no beating. It dawned on me that it was the new me standing in front of Jacob.

"They really changed you." He came out of the wood and stepped in the moonlight. The light shone on his bare chest and his handsome young face. His features were expressionless, like being craved in granite. Shades of lights were dancing on him. I was startled to discover that they came from the reflection of my exposed skin which was now sparkling under the moonlight.

"You know about the Cullens?" His words finally registered.

"You should have known that a long time ago too. Remember the Quileutes legend I told you about on the beach? They are the cold ones."

"And you are the werewolf? No, that's impossible. They were just legends!" I cried, refusing to believe this bizarre change of event.

"You are right, my body started to react when they came back to Forks. I thought it would end when they left the town. I thought I had a chance then." Jacob's stare was burning with regrets and sadness. "Now, it's too late. You are my enemy and what's more, they broke the truce made and now, we have to hunt them down."

"No, you can't. I was willing to be bitten. Doesn't that count?" I argued desperately. I couldn't allow my dearest ones to be on opposite end of a war. I couldn't believe that by choosing to be with Edward, I had become the enemy of Jacob - the one who got me through the darkest hours of my life. My eyes stinted with tears that would never fall.

"No, the truce doesn't have any conditions attached. The rule is simple – no biting on a human."

"There has to be a way out, I don't want any of you two get hurt because of me."

"The truce was broken and I can't put a stop at it. The Cullens should know what's coming." Jacob slowly walked in front of me and gently pulled my straying hairs behind the ears.

"Bella, I can't protect you anymore. I have been looking for you all night to tell you this. You have to run. I have no choice but I can't let my tribe destroy the one I love." Jacob's hand was stinging hot against my face but it was the raging fire in his eyes that was my undoing. How could I always hurt the ones closest to me?

"I love you, Jake. I'm so sorry." I leaned my face against his hand and whispered brokenly.

He gently withdrew his hand and took a step backward.

"So, this is goodbye then. I don't want to see you again."

We stared at each other intensely, longing this moment be extended indefinitely because we knew that the next time we meet, we would no longer be friends, he would have to kill me. The silence was broken by the sudden light that came from Charlie's house.

"Could you do me a last favour?"

"Anything, Bella."

"Could you give this letter to Charlie? I can't go near him." I held out the letter.

He slowly took the letter; turned around and ran into the forest without a word. I then heard a desolate howling sound in distance, a sound that I would always remember for the rest of my existence.

Taking a last glance at the cottage that I had grown to love these past months, I raced back to the Cullen house. There was little time left if we wanted to escape from the wolf hunt.

I jumped onto Edward's balcony when I was near enough. I stood in horror at the state of the room was in. What had happened? All the things were broken and scattered around the room. Even the flat TV was lying broken on the floor. Was I too late to stop the hunt? But there wasn't the awful smell of the werewolves here. My anxiety slowed when I saw the statue sitting on the couch at the far end.

"What happened?" There was no response.

"Edward?" I uttered soundlessly, afraid to upset something that I didn't know.

"You are back." It was so finely said that I didn't know for sure they were spoken. Edward finally moved by putting his head into his hands.

"Edward, who did this?" I gently probed.

"I did. I did these when I thought you left." He didn't raise his head and the words only came through his long tender fingers.

"Didn't Tanya tell you? I just wanted to say goodbye to Charlie before leaving." I was puzzled.

"She said you regretted the change and wanted to go back."

"and you believed her?" Out of nowhere, a flow of anger surged through my vein and invaded my eyes and my mind. My fists were clenched tightly due to the effort to restraint it from letting out.

"How can I not? This is not something I would choose for myself." Oblivious to the anger flowing in wave inside me, he still buried his head in his hands.

"and you think, I would not give up anything for us, after all you have done for me, after all I have done for you." I was surprised by the calmness in my voice. Edward looked up, however, sensing something was wrong.

Not even understanding where the uncontrollable force came from, I lunged myself to him, with the sole aim that I needed him to know the hurt I was suffering from his lack of trust in me, in our love. The couch he was sitting on was thrown and twisted against the wall under the smash. Edward was able to jump out at the last millisecond.

The crumbling sound of debris around me woke me up from the tide of anger.

I looked in dismay at the damage I had done. A shudder ran through me as I thought what could have happened. I fell on my knees. My whole body was shaking with the realization that I could have killed Edward. That was the power Jasper had been so wary about. I asked myself a second time tonight how could I always hurt the ones closest to me. I was a danger, a monster.

Gentle hands enveloped my body, drew it into an embrace so sweet and yet so light.

"It's ok, everything is alright." he whispered against my ears, his hands soothing my back, his body tenderly rocking mine. Founding comfort in his familiar scents, my body slowly stilled.

"I am so sorry." I spoke against his chest. They were the words I repeated over and over tonight, like a discarded cassette.

"I shall remember not to antagonize you for the near future." He chuckled. Knotted together in each other's embrace, we watched the moon paling slowly in layers of clouds in complete contentment. The sun would come out any moment now.

"We had to leave. The tribe is looking for us." I spoke unwillingly, wanting to savor the last moment of peace that we would not be able to have for the months to come.

"We know, we are all ready to go. Anyway, we have to leave for Volterra even if it is not because of the pack." Edward said while planting a kiss on my hair.

"The Volturi? We really have to meet them?"

"Yes, Jane is not just a messenger, she is an escort. When Aro agreed to let Carlisle go, he made Carlisle promised that he would have to return the favour to him when he sent out the red label summon. Aro needs Carlisle to be back to his side, now. Some riots broke out in Volterra and Aro needs Carlisle and me to be the mediator." His voice was still quiet and gentle but the soberness in the sound was unmistakable.

"Who is the enemy that even the Volturi couldn't handle on their own?" According to what I had been told, the Volturi was invincible.

"The immortal children. Aro wants Carlisle, whose compassion surpasses all vampires, to be the mediator to end the war. With me reading the thoughts of the enemy at the side, it would be the added bonus. He knows I would not let Carlisle to do this alone." Though I never heard of this appalling enemy, I knew the danger Carlisle and Edward would be in if they were to involve in the affair.

"We have no choice." Edward supplemented, "It is a matter concerning the survival of our own specie. Carlisle knows he has to go. He wanted us out but we all decided to go. With Alice knowing the possible results of the decisions we have to make, we may have a chance to accomplish the task, after all." Edward tried to make light of the situation.

"Sure we have to go, but could we wait for the sunrise? After all, we have a whole new day to face." I nestled further into Edward and watched the dawn breaking into a new horizon, ready to meet any challenges ahead.

The past was forgotten and the future had so much to conquer and behold.

**A/N: That's the end of this story for now. This is my first fanfiction, give me some feedback, please or if you like it, drop me a word **


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